


Watch Me, Lovely

by realityisiron



Series: Watch Me, Lovely [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Comedy, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Femdom, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, shiro angst, sort of? it's a very weird variation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-05 10:23:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11576124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityisiron/pseuds/realityisiron
Summary: “What exactly did you think you were agreeing to?”- - - - -Shiro could pretend to be Allura’s concubine for a week. After all, concubines were for behind closed doors. There’d be no reason for them to have to do anything crazy.Except Shiro may have made a huge translation error, one that will come back to bite him in rather… unexpected ways. And places.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time I read a beautiful femdom Shallura fic by Bosstoaster. Never before had the lack of femdom Shallura fic in this fandom felt so tangible to me. I knew I had to contribute in some way, as Bosstoaster had.
> 
> 17,000 words of exposition later, I realized I had started a monster. So I'll be posting this in chapters as I continue to work on the smut. As the smut chapters show up, I'll add the appropriate tags for the content in each chapter. The exhibitionism doesn't happen in this chapter, but I thought I'd put it there so you all could know what you'd be getting yourselves into.
> 
> Just, uh, be prepared. If all goes according to plan the list of kinky tags for this fic is looooong. Get ready.

“We’re being hailed, princess!”

 

This statement was usually said with a deep-seated concern or tense fear. Sometimes it meant a Galra captain thinking a simple video message could sway Allura into handing over the lions, and other times it meant that damaged, drifting carrier ship was actually a nest of space pirates. 

Never had it been said with such  _ glee _ .

Allura straightened from where she was making adjustments to Keith’s control panel. “Wonderful, Coran! Do you have the color transmitters?”

Coran proceeded to produce two thick, silver bands as wide as Hunk’s fists with a pale gray screen wrapped around each. With what must have been magnets, Coran and Allura each broke one apart and situated them around their heads. Small microphones shot out from the inside of the bands, hovering an inch from their lips. 

“Testing?” Allura enunciated into her microphone, glancing over at Coran. The screen around her headband came to life, swirling with pale yellows.

“You have color. Testing?” Coran parroted back, posing for effect as his own headband started with stripes of pulsing indigo before the swirls of light yellow appeared as well.

Lance furrowed his brow with a pout, glancing over at Pidge. “What is happening?” Allura and Coran began to say “testing” in various tones, and then changed the word to “test”, “tested”, “yes”, “no”, “spaceship”, “food”.

“Seems to be a translation system,” Pidge observed as she began to tap on her own projected control panel. “The colors are all coordinated with what they’re saying.”

“Shouldn’t the castle’s translator take care of that?” Keith asked, frowning as Coran begin to rapidly list off sentences that sent the headband into a series of flashes and color transitions that would’ve made an Earth dance club jealous.

“If they’re not communicating with audio, there’s nothing for the translators’ sensors to pick up. Or maybe they  _ can _ communicate verbally and we’re out of range for their verbal methods,” Hunk noted. Then his face brightened and the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile. “Do you think this is like a universal visual language? Literally  _ universal _ ? Colors? It would account for all the aliens that don’t have limbs dexterous enough to do something like sign language.”

“But what if they can’t produce colors? What if they’re colorblind?” Pidge pointed out as she continued to tap, paused, tapped a few more times, and then started to scroll. The Altaen words struggled to translate fast enough as she moved through whatever database she had opened. Her glasses flashed with the light of the glowing text.

Shiro frowned, standing and going over to where Allura and Coran were now popping their lips, causing small vents to open along the sides of their headbands. “Princess, Coran, who exactly is hailing us?” Leave it to Shiro to actually ask their questions, even as his brow settled low over his eyes in thought. He was trying to work out the headbands too, even as he waited for the answer.

Allura straightened, eyes wide. “Of course! My apologies, Shiro. We’re being hailed by the Hoo’thue.” That last word felt more like a whistle, and the headband mimicked it perfectly with a flutter of its vents.

“The Hoo’thue?” Shiro had to call on his long forgotten whistling skills, but his own attempt at the word didn’t sound all too bad.

“Is this a whistling alien?!” Lance shouted from his station, jolting as if he planned to leap out of his seat.

Pidge groaned, her head thudding against her seat. “I can’t whistle,” she whined.

Allura’s expression went soft, a small smile forming. “They are in a manner of speaking. Their species, while primarily using color to communicate, also uses whistling in certain situations. But it is inconsiderate in their culture to immediately use whistling unless color communication is first attempted. They’ve even developed their own translators, large scale versions of these mechanisms to translate for them just as the Castle translates for us.” Allura strode to her own stations, planting her feet as she began to open different interfaces. “The gesture of providing our own translators will hopefully put us on their good side. And it is a nice precaution in case of translation malfunction. This technology  _ is _ ten thousand years old, after all.”

This time Pidge and Hunk groaned together. Ten thousand years old for the Altaens was ten thousand years in the future for Earth.

Shiro hummed in understanding, crossing his arms as he watched Allura work. “Are they peaceful?”

Allura nodded. “Ten thousand years ago they were. Now, Coran and I will wear the transmitters today, but should we be allowed to dock, your paladin helmets should do fine face to face.”

Coran twirled his mustache with a sharp swipe of his thumb and index finger. “Sit tight, paladins, and please, stay focused and quiet at your stations. They’re an emotionally sensitive species.”

The front window of the Castle came to life with Allura’s touch, allowing the hailing signal to come through and activate the video feed. Four of the aliens were present in a large, circular room. Control panels and tech flowed over the walls, some pouring out into small consoles, others dipping into the cream-colored walls. Mirrors in soft, curving shapes hung amongst the tech.

The aliens had long faces, thick at the top with ridges outlining smooth indents that glowed a soft white beneath thin membranes. The ridges swirled down their neck and along their knobby limbs, holes carved out of them with flaps of skin that fluttered shut like eyelids. They had eyes too, wide and black, and their faces tapered down to what might’ve been very small, lipless mouths. 

Well, at least Lance wasn't likely to flirt with one. 

There was an alien tending to the tech, and two framing one sitting upon what might have been a throne or captain’s chair. That one outstretched its arms towards Allura, and then in large, sweeping motions brought their arms towards their neck, then down to their chest. The light beneath the membranes on their head glowed a warm orange-yellow.

Allura repeated the gesture. “May your needs be mine,” she murmured. The headband glowed the same color as the alien’s.

All the paladins but Shiro cocked their heads to one side as the alien’s membranes popped into a brighter shade of orange for a beat before descending into a series of colorful flashes and waves of vibrancy.

Coran must have synced his headset with the colors of the alien, because his headset began to flash the same patterns, and he began to relay what must have been said to the princess. “We are surprised you know the old greetings still after all this time, and that you even wear a transmitter for our traditional communication.”

Allura smiled. “Of course. Though I apologize if we mistranslate what you say or don’t respond in ways you are used to. Our translation system for most of the universe’s languages is ten thousand years out of date.”

The alien’s membranes flashed orange again. “Ten thousand years?” Coran parroted.

“If I may, let me introduce myself. Then I can properly explain.” Another circling motion of the alien’s arms apparently granted Allura permission. “I am Princess Allura of the destroyed planet Altea. To keep me safe, my father put me and my advisor Coran into a comatose state. We have only just awoken recently.”

“Princess Allura? You name is indeed from our records so long ago, if only briefly. I am Captain Rootha, of the Galactic Guard, and I welcome you to this age after your sleep. I am sorry to hear you have been ripped from your people.”

Allura bowed her head and wrapped her arms around her middle for two beats before straightening. “I accept your feelings.”

Suddenly the holes along the alien’s ridges began to flutter rapidly. Its mouth popped open, and a whistling sound escaped that changed in pitch and tone rapidly.

The Castle began to translate. “I shall extend to you this convenience for how respectful you have been to us. I trust your translators work more efficiently with this communication?”

A light went on behind Allura’s eyes. Interacting with aliens such as these was where she truly shined. “They do.” Her headband whistled. Shiro’s lips quirked up. He loved to see Allura so in her element, comfortable and daring and in command. It was unnerving that those moments were so numerous, even when she was being captured by Galra and hurling him into an escape pod, but his heart had learned to deal with it. 

Well, sort of. He was getting better at pretending his heart didn’t race every time at any rate. 

Rootha’s small mouth curved upwards for a moment before opening again, allowing the whistle to continue. “Princess Allura of Altea, my staff have reported to me that you seemed to head for this planet with great purpose. What is it that you seek from us?”

“The opportunity to visit your planet. The paladins of Voltron are from far away, and I believe they would benefit from meeting your people, just as they could benefit from some time off from their rigorous training.” All the Hoo’thue’s membranes glowed a rosy pink at that. “We are also interested in buying some supplies from you.”

“We have a few security checkpoints you must go through, but I’m sure all those things can be arranged after. The checkpoints should only take twenty ticks or so once you lower your scanner interference.”

With another circular motion of their arms Rootha seemed to be saying farewell. Then the screen went dark, revealing the stars and the Hoo’thue’s planet once more.

Coran set to work turning off the scanner interference, allowing Rootha’s staff to run the necessary checks. Allura frowned, self-reflective as she dismantled her headband. “I had hoped to ask for a meeting between leaders as well, but they cut me off rather quickly.” With a shake of her head, her smile returned. “No matter. With any luck Rootha will be there when we dock, and I can request a meeting then. It would be great to add them to our alliance, would it not?”

“Excellent idea, Princess! The more allies we have, the greater our forces! Now, speaking of allies, if we do team up with them you lot are going to have to learn some Hoo’thue basics. Our information may be outdated, but it’s better than nothing.”

-

By the time the Castle docked just outside the Northern Hoo’thue’s capitol, the paladins had been dealt a seemingly organized lecture so heavy with intel, Altaen pop culture references, and poorly drawn diagrams that everyone but Pidge felt like their heads could no longer be held up by human muscle alone. Even Shiro felt drained for only being up a handful of hours, though he was not about to admit it.

Allura appeared just in time to set them free from a highly-detailed explanation of how the Hoo’thue’s had twice as many primary senses all related to picking up emotional cues in other species. “Empathy” had been used roughly twelve times already, and Shiro was starting to think it wasn’t a real word anymore. It was going to be like the time Matt made him repeat “table” two-hundred-and-eighty-seven times for losing a bet at the Garrison. It had been an innocent enough punishment until Shiro couldn’t say the word confidently for two weeks. He at one point referred to the tables in the cafeteria as “eating desks”.

But Allura had arrived, hair carefully pulled into a bun. She carried their helmets in her arms. “Alright paladins. I checked your helmets. There’s a thin gray button on the right side. If you press it, the helmet will condense into a headband transmitter similar to the ones Coran and I have. Since the helmets also have translators of their own, you should be able to communicate with any of the Hoo’thue with minimal issues, but there might still be some rough translations. Now, each of you have a list of supplies to look for and some money to spend. Once you get the supplies to the ship…” Her smile went wide and bright – it was the one that made Shiro's ribs too small for his lungs. “Have fun. You’ve earned it.”

Lance whooped at the same time as Hunk shrieked in shock. Even Keith laughed as Allura handed him the proper currency, slim and heavy in his palm. Pidge gleefully snatched hers with a cackle, and the red and green paladins made eye contact as grins formed on their faces.

The four made a mad dash for the Castle entrance, only to hurriedly halt as they realized Allura probably needed to exit first.

Allura glanced over at Shiro from beneath her eyelashes, tucking her giggle into the corner of her lips.

Fuck. That smile was one of the reasons Shiro rarely met with her privately. Discussions about strategy or personal experiences or training – it all happened with the other paladins or Coran around. Being alone with her had been a risk ever since they’d snuck onto the Galra ship together. His feelings would cause problems without a doubt. There was the fact that she was his commander and the princess, that they were in the middle of a war, that she probably didn’t see him that way. Instigating a relationship would be a mistake on at least a dozen levels. But she was passionate in everything, even if it was in yelling at them after training. She was stubborn, sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing, but a very  _ Allura _ thing nonetheless. No one could tell her “no” without getting an earful, or a fist to the face in some cases. She thrived in diplomatic situations, but the wrong thing said to Allura was the wrong thing no matter how you cut it. Allura could always-

“-have the black paladin. Would you mind, Shiro?”

_ Oh no, I got caught up. What did she say?  _  Not listening to Allura was one of the deadly sins if Shiro believed in that sort of thing.

“I’m sorry, princess. Could you, ah, please repeat that?”

Allura huffed, amused by having caught him off guard. “I was just saying that I don’t know why the Hoo’thue have stayed out of the war for so long or how they managed to avoid Zarkon’s attentions. But I have my suspicions. I think your experience” she didn’t elaborate there, didn’t need to “might be crucial in persuading them to get involved now. Preferably on our side. So I was wondering if you would mind inquiring after this meeting with me. I think you should be present anyway, given that you are the head of Voltron, but either way is up to you. You certainly have earned a few days off instead of preparing for a diplomatic engagement with me.”

“I would love to attend the meeting, princess. If there is something I can do to help, all you need to do is ask.” The words were out instantly, an initial rush out of his mouth that slowed to his usual measured way, professional and perfect for Garrison meetings. “Hopefully you shouldn’t even have to do that much,” he added with a chuckle.

_ That wasn’t obvious, right? _

Allura returned his chuckle with one of her own. “Then let’s see if we can request an audience with their council.”

No, he was definitely fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Allura meet the Hoo'thue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The things I did to make this an exhibitionism fic. 
> 
> The flimsy circumstances. The questionable logic. I hope you're all prepared. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Shiro had to hand it to the Hoo’thue; the breathy notes and bright trills of their whistling communication beat the awkward office music back on Earth. While many of them kept more to their gestures and the glowing colors of their membranes, enough of them whistled to fill the cavernous chamber. Large, thick bubbles floated through the air, lazily condensing and expanding. A wall in the back was covered in mist and light, creating strips of rainbow that reflected off glimmering surfaces scattered throughout.

It was breathtaking.

But not so breathtaking as to distract him from the matter at hand. A charcoal-colored alien in a heavy white robe was currently asking them questions and typing their answers onto a razor-thin tablet.

“The council is currently very busy preparing for one of our largest rituals. They will not be able to attend to you immediately, as much as it saddens them to admit. I apologize if that presents any inconvenience.”

Allura only smiled. “Of course not. We intend to stay a few quintants at the least.” For the face to face meeting she had left the color transmitter behind. Instead, she had shapeshifted so that her skin tone matched theirs, various grays with lighter patches around the eyes and darker coloration along her joints and fingertips. Her Altean ears had lost their points, and a ridge much like the Hoo’thuin’s extended from the top of her forehead to the bridge of her nose. Her eyes had gone black – which Shiro _of course_ didn’t think was attractive, definitely not, no way, what gave you that idea – and the skin of her forehead was now thin, mimicking their membranes. It glowed with various colors, communicating alongside the whistling of her new forehead ridge as she spoke with the Hoo’thuin.

“Wonderful. Then I will propose a request for the princess of Altea to have an audience with the council and return to you shortly with a time.”

The alien turned to leave, but Allura raised a hand. “Yes, thank you. Please tell them Allura, the princess of Altea, and Shiro, the black paladin and leader of Voltron, seek an audience with the council.”

The Hoo’thuin frowned, finally turning and allowing their large black eyes to zero in on Shiro. He kept his posture perfect, expression serious yet relaxed enough to show he wasn’t threatened by the alien’s scrutiny. It would be unacceptable for them to deem him unworthy of meeting their leaders. Failing Allura was never an option.

“Of course,” the alien finally murmured, a soft muted whistle paired with a low, murky purple glow.

Once the alien had shuffled out of the hall, Allura turned to Shiro with purpose. “They hardly even looked at you until I mentioned you would also be attending,” she noted, voice low as her dark gaze lingered on the door the alien had exited through. The Hoo’thuin membrane and ridges she had formed didn’t light up or whistle. So she didn’t want the Hoo’thuin to hear. Interesting.

Shiro waited several ticks more, then he casually brought his flesh hand up to adjust his own headband, cutting the color-coded transmission as well. “So long as the council listens to us and considers what we say, they don’t have to look my way even once,” he assured her.

“Maybe, but I can’t help but wonder… I don’t think their avoidance of you was by accident.”

Shiro’s face went stern. “Do you think it’s my arm? Or that I’m a human, maybe?”

Allura shook her head. “No, I doubt humans encountered the Hoo’thue at all. There’d be no reason for them to hold that against you. And prosthesis weren’t a new concept to them at all ten thousand years ago. Unless the Galra make bothers them instead?” A sigh slipped from her lips. “Though we have no evidence that the Galra ever even approached the planet. That’s its own puzzle.”

The ten-thousand-year knowledge gap had made quite a few things tricky. What was Galra and what was not? How had cultures changed over the decapheebs? What had they encountered since then? What had they created? “We will just have to see. The ball is in their court,” he acquiesced. He wasn’t sure how the phrase translated for Alteans, but Allura nodded in what seemed to be agreement.

The doors slid open again, giving Allura enough time to shapeshift once more and Shiro enough to activate his transmitter. The Hoo’thuin messenger meandered towards them, black eyes scanning the tablet for a handful of ticks before tucking it into a sleeve on their front.

“Your request has been accepted. The council would be honored to meet with you in five quintants, Princess Allura - the day after dark-eating.” The moment that followed was usually when Allura would thank the messenger for the news and opportunity, but instead she remained silent. The messenger wasn’t finished. A name had been left off. “However, the Black Paladin, leader of Voltron – as prestigious and powerful a title that may be – will not be permitted.”

He had wondered if that would be the case.  _I'm disappointing her again._

Allura brought herself to her full height – or perhaps had cheated an inch or two through shapeshifting. “May I ask why?” Her eyes narrowed, suspicious.

They had no qualms with her suddenly sharp expression. “The council reserves the right to refuse other guests that are not of the highest rank. I know this is not the answer you wanted to hear, and am sorry things did not meet your desires. However, when their decision is made, it will not be reversed easily. Your Black Paladin will not be allowed into the meeting.”

Without asking his brain for permission, Shiro's gaze immediately shot towards Allura's. Why could he never be enough? No matter how much he thought he was doing, Shiro couldn't help but feel like he fell short every time. Allura had come to him specifically, told him that she knew he'd be crucial to this meeting, and he was disappointing her once more. Allura met his gaze, her eyes going soft when she saw- well, Shiro wasn't sure what she saw, but it made her posture go a little slack.

_I just want to please her._  

Suddenly their eyes went wide, small mouth popping open. Their membranes flashed orange. “That is, unless he is your, er, sensual escort? Or rather… what is it in your tongue? Own Touched? Skin Partner? The translation is difficult in our modern language.”

Concubine. If Shiro was hearing this right, they wanted to know if he was Allura’s concubine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow.

 

Well, that certainly just gave him an all too vivid mental image. Okay. Wow. Okay.

No, no, he couldn’t be distracted.

It was fine. He was fine.

This was their chance.

Allura opened her mouth – probably to refuse for his sake, thinking he would never agree. But he couldn’t let her forfeit the opportunity. She believed his experience with the Galra was crucial to convincing the beings of Hoo’thue. There was no way he could let her down. He’d seen the look of disappointment on the faces of too many he loved. Keith looked as if he’d been struck the day Shiro told him to lead Voltron. Coran’s anger had done little to hide how he really felt about Shiro returning from the mission without Allura. He had no hope or answers for the prisoners they freed that recognized him for the monster he had been in the arena. For the monster he still was. He had no useful memory that would give Pidge her family back. Lance was far away from home and Shiro’s words were nothing helpful. Hunk worried his fears and insecurities didn’t make him a good paladin, and Shiro could only offer him advice that damned him to be the hypocrite.

He would not let this be the day he saw Allura disappointed. “It’s alright, Princess,” he hurriedly interrupted, voice soft and head bowed. The words were more for him than her. _It’s alright, Shiro. You can do this for Allura. She’s worth it. This mission is worth it. You’ve played harder parts before._

The Champion had not been nearly as hard to play as it should have been.

The quiet that followed was delicate, muffling the whistles of other citizens as Allura turned to him. There was a soft pinch to her face, possibly torn between snatching the words he was going to say and allowing it to happen. He couldn’t hold her imploring gaze for long, didn’t want her to see his face in case in this one moment of reckless action his expression gave away the feelings he’d been working for weeks to silence. His gaze flickered back to the Hoo’thuin. “Usually we don’t mention it unless necessary or unavoidable, so I apologize that we weren’t forward. But yes. I am…” He didn’t exactly know what term the Alteans used, so to say the wrong thing would reveal his lie instantly. “I will always help the princess in any way I can. I am everything she needs, on the battlefield and off.” Oh boy, he couldn’t believe he was saying this. “ _Everything_ .” Just to be clear. But not _too_ clear. Not clear enough to provide any mental images that would ruin masturbating for life because his own hand could never compare.

Definitely nothing that vivid.

Besides, it wasn’t like that sort of thing would _actually_ ruin masturbation. That was just an expression.

Probably.

But what was the harm? Concubines were partners for the night and for behind closed doors. There would be no reason to have to act as one in front of them. There was nothing he was actually risking. A few references to… stuff – _sex, Shiro, with_ ** _Allura_** (not that he would actually be doing that with her) – paired with some submissive gestures on his part would hopefully be more than enough.

The Hoo’thuin went a rosy pink and began to whistle, circling their arms. “It is always a pleasure to see how, even in subtle ways, you can care for one another. It will not impact how seriously the council considers the meeting, of course, but for our records and their own preparation, might I inquire as to what sort of relationship you and your skin partner have? We haven’t encountered one in a very long time.”

_Why would they ask that?_ It seemed rather unnecessary. What sort of relationship did the Hoo’thuin think it was when Shiro had already admitted to being her concubine? Unless the Hoo’thuin was testing him. After all, a real concubine in this sort of situation would have no reason to get flustered. They’d be used to it, so comfortable with what they did by this point that it wouldn’t matter. _Unless they were coerced into the whole concubine situation in the first place. Though hopefully that wouldn’t be something the Hoo’thue condone._

He was overthinking this. The longer he hesitated, the more suspicious the Hoo’thuin would get. He needed to answer immediately.

“Sexual.”

Why did that word have to sound so loud? Had he shouted it? Was everyone in the hall listening in? “If it were anything else she needed, I would be able to do so without being her’s.” Again with the vagueness. He still didn’t actually know the Altean word for concubine.

With a whistle, the Hoo’thuin made a few elegant swipes on their tablet. “I will alert the council to the situation. Shiro is welcome, of course. We wouldn’t dream of denying you. Take care, Princess Allura. If there is anything you need during your stay, contact me at once.”

As the Hoo’thuin bowed away from them, Allura offered her arm to Shiro with an easy smile on her face. “Come, my _Kethelin_. We should take our leave.”

Shiro’s brow furrowed at her words, but he took her arm nonetheless. Maybe concubines in Altean culture also acted as arm jewelry, toted on one arm from place to place. Maybe they were referred to as “Kethelin”... though if they were wouldn’t the translator have still converted it to “concubine”? Well, he had time to think on it. It was nothing of real consequence; even if his ears flushed pink.

Nope. He had no problems whatsoever.

\- - - - -

“We need to talk about what just happened, Shiro.”

Considering how Allura changed the moment the ship doors closed behind them, Shiro was inclined to agree with her. The doors had slid shut and she’d untangled her arm from his in a heartbeat. Her lips pressed together as she walked, brisk and even. His footsteps followed her own through hallway after hallway and room after room.

Had the castle always been this cold?

Okay, so the concubine thing had been a rash action, but a necessary one. It was harmless, surely. He figured they’d need to talk about it to ensure there wasn’t any flaw in their story. But something about her voice, how it was low and heavy on her lips, made him realize he was missing something.

He just wasn’t sure what.

“Of course, Princess.”

Allura came to a stop within one of the lounges. It was the one they had all collapsed into after a day of failing to form Voltron, where Allura had stormed into the room, lectured them on their laziness and incompetency, and demanded they face the gladiator. Shiro got the feeling he was about to be lectured again.

She settled into the plush cushions and tapped the one beside her. “Please sit, Shiro.”

Oh. Good. This was… This was good, right?

Shiro sat beside her, leaving what he hoped was a respectable distance – at least for his non-concubine self. Concubine him would probably need to sit with their knees touching. Or maybe behind her? Or on the floor by her feet?

Her gaze was steady, considering. Shiro was just waiting for her to tell him his obaa-san was dead.

Or something else equally bad.

Yeah this was not good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro really has no idea, and I do not feel the least bit guilty for what craziness is about to begin.
> 
> Hope you liked the update. We've still got some exposition before the smut comes (the plot and feels just sort of showed up without my permission); sorry lovelies (but not too sorry). But, if you like where this is going and wanna come visit me and send me silly messages and fun asks and enjoy Voltron content with me, I just so happen to have this strange and wondrous thing the young people these days are calling a [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura translates the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in Tokyo right now and therefore can't watch season 3 yet (oh the agony) but, in celebration of its release, I present to you an early update.
> 
> Usually I post on Sundays, but looky here you lucky ducks - a chapter chalked full of explanation and circumstance.
> 
> Enjoy!

“When we spoke with the Hoo’thuin, how did their words translate for you? What exactly did you think you were agreeing to?”

They were diving _right_ into Shiro’s new fuck up. Awesome. She cut the bullshit out of the equation, and Shiro wasn’t sure if he was grateful for it or not.

He shifted in his seat, back straightening as if having proper Garrison posture was going to make him any more comfortable during whatever lecture he was about to get. Maybe if he combined it with the eloquence of his Garrison Golden Boy persona, she wouldn't eat him alive.

Which, alright, wasn't a bad image.

_Stop that._

“I thought they were implying that if I was your concubine, I would be allowed into the meeting with you. Concubines, at least on Earth, are private sexual partners for royalty, so I figured it would be harmless to say I was yours. Proving it would just mean coming up with enough stories and details for it to be believable, and we wouldn’t have to change our behavior too much. We’d have to be a little more… touch-y and I’d have to act more submissive to you, but it was nothing I was opposed to doing.” _Watch it, Shiro. Your obvious is showing._ “For the meeting, of course,” he hastily added. “Though if there had been any way to check with you beforehand, I should have. I recognize that I might have put you in an awkward situation by agreeing.”

Allura huffed in – in _amusement_ ? Was she not about to murder him? Had he not just ruined any hopes of diplomacy between them and the Hoo’thue? “For me, it’s not so awkward. But that’s because I know the whole situation. _You_ are another story entirely.” The sentence should've sounded accusatory. He was supposed to be getting lectured, right? But instead her lips quirked upwards, and she smoothed out her skirt as if he hadn't just created an intergalactic incident. “Your definition of concubine isn’t unfamiliar to me, but, well, that wasn’t quite what the Hoo’thuin was getting at.”

Uh oh. “What you called me earlier… It has something to do with that, doesn’t it?”

“Kethelin? Yes. That’s what they were referencing. Your “concubine” concept isn’t something they’ve heard of.” Her smile fell, and her gaze slid down right along with it. “I'm worried about how you'll feel about its real meaning.”

Oh. This wasn’t about him ruining the mission and agreeing to something he shouldn’t have. Allura had been concerned because she knew what he was agreeing to and Shiro, obviously, did not. That was a relief. If he was the only one who’d be experiencing problems due to his mistake, then he wouldn’t feel so bad. “So, uh… what exactly did I admit to being, then?”

Allura was torn, her expression flickering around the edges from concern to amusement and back again. “Some parts of your definition aren’t wrong.” Another bit of relief. Maybe Shiro hadn’t made a complete idiot of himself. “Kethelin are very touch based; sometimes sexual and sometimes not. Usually higher ranking Altaens have them. But... that’s about all that's the same.” Okay so that was a really short list of similarities.

Shiro swallowed hard. “And the differences?”

“Kethelin are voluntary companions.” Allura paused, face falling. “Well, they were, anyway, when we had them. In most cases they were friends with the Altaen they worked for – their Kethal. The Keth - the relationship between a Kethelin and Kethal - isn't something we forced or bought. That defeated the point.” So, if anything, Shiro was already liking this version more. But that meant there had to be a downside somewhere, otherwise she wouldn't be worried. “Many were there for cuddling and other forms of touch to help with anxiety, depression, loneliness, that sort of thing. Platonic and sensual touching. Usually there was a sexual relationship too, but that was up to the Kethelin and their Kethal. And, unlike a concubine, most of the touching didn’t happen behind closed doors.”

Shiro was beginning to sense that other shoe was about to drop.

“Kethelin could attend any Altean meetings or events that their Kethal attended. Sometimes they could even attend the events of other aliens if their Kethal was invited.” Even without being a diplomat or high ranking person? That was interesting. But why make the allowance for a… not-quite concubine? “After all, if a Kethelin really wanted to fulfill their position, they had to be present at those sorts of thing because their relationship with the Kethal was usually more public and... performative.”

Wait.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.

Shiro’s brain was short-circuiting, but amongst the confusion it managed to successfully repeat the words “public” and “performative”.

_As in… at the meeting I’m expected to just-_

Hold on. Allura had also said Kethelin were there for supportive touch to help with depression and anxiety. That wasn’t bad. He could cuddle Allura. Sure, he’d probably be panicking internally the entire meeting and cap off the night with four and a half heart attacks, but he could do it.

“This would be easy to portray to the Hoo’thue if you were comfortable with cuddling and some simple petting-“ he wouldn’t use the word “comfortable”, but Shiro was definitely on board with his own suffering at this point “except then there’s the matter of what you told the Hoo’thuin.”

“What I…?”

The rapid transformation of Shiro’s brain from hectic mess to blank slate should have been concerning, except he was too busy unsuccessfully remembering what he’d said to care.

“I believe the Hoo’thuin asked what sort of Kethelin you were and you said-“

_He was overthinking this. The longer he hesitated, the more suspicious the Hoo’thuin would get. He needed to answer immediately._

_“Sexual.”_

  
  
  
  


Oh god.

  
  
  
  
  


He _had_.

Something crazy must have happened to him in the last two seconds – probably all the color evacuating his face – because Allura was scrambling to start talking again. “Shiro, remember, I believe your experience with the Galra could be very persuasive to the council, but I will never value your diplomatic contributions over your own health and safety. You absolutely _do not_ have to do this. I will tell them you’re sick or that you found something else to fill your time, because I _completely_ understand that in your culture this must be-“

“It’s fine.”

It was _what?_

Did he just say _fine_?

In what 0.1 percent of Slav’s alternate realities was it _fine_?

Sure, Shiro had thought about sex with Allura before. He’d thought about how, in a place and time where he knew having sex with her wouldn’t ruin their relationship, if she had asked he would have said yes in half a tic. Well, the situation still called for a bunch of overanalysis, seeing it from every angle, making sure it wouldn’t ruin their relationship with the rest of the paladins and Coran, but the eventual answer would have been a 100% positive yes.

But this situation?

The situation Shiro was still pretty sure he wasn’t grasping?

Not fine.

All of Shiro’s hard work - weeks of hiding stupid feelings and acting normal - would be thrown out the airlock before he could say “Voltron”. It wasn’t as if he spent every waking moment trying to hide how he felt about Allura, but it would still be unfortunate to watch the relationship he’d worked so hard to have with her crumble because he couldn’t keep it together.

Allura could tell.

Well, she could tell the situation wasn’t as fine as he was trying to make it seem. He was still fairly positive she couldn’t tell he had feelings for her.

“Shiro, you’re saying it’s fine because you don’t want to make things awkward for me, or make the meeting difficult, or let down our cause. I don’t know which it is, but it doesn’t matter. You need to do what is best for you. If you don’t want to do this, you _must believe me._ ” She didn’t touch him, in fact she very pointedly kept her hands clenched in her lap as she gripped him with that sharp gaze of hers. “I won’t be offended. I won't be angry with you. _No one_ will be angry with you. I will not be disappointed, or expect you to do something else later. No one will think less of you, alright? I have plenty of other points to support my case.”

He believed her. He did. And yet...

“But the Hoo’thue would value my experience. Wants, needs, feelings.” He’d noticed how their greetings and sayings focused around considering the wants and needs first, whether they were their own or those of others. His experience as the Galra captive, the forced Champion, the Frankenstein’s monster, would hit smack dab in the middle of their cultural values. “Coran mentioned they had double the primary senses, because for every one of our own they had an empathic version. They’re sensitive to others emotionally. Your facts on how much Zarkon has done and your second-hand stories won’t hit home, right? This morning you said I was crucial to the meeting. _That’s why_ , isn’t it?”

The princess stilled.

It was.

They both knew it was.

“Shiro, I lost my planet. All of my people. You don’t think that’s enough?”

“I do, princess. But you don’t.”

He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He was rationalizing being her Kethelin – this public, performative concubine-but-not-concubine thing. But it was becoming increasingly clear that it would be worth it.

“You don’t think it’s enough. I don’t know why that is, but I _do_ know you can handle things alone. You’re brilliant at it. But you asked for my help anyway which means you _know_ I improve our chances in this meeting.”

Allura frowned, obviously not pleased with his logic. She was leveling him with that look. The look that said she knew things were bad, but she could work magic. Her eyes were just as unshakeable as they had been when she’d thrown him into the escape pod, letting the Galra soldiers take her down. “Yes, Shiro. I think you would seal the deal. But I have time. I can find other ways, different things to say. From what I can tell, sex is not as easy culturally for you as it is for me. There are so many reasons why you _don’t_ have to do thi-“

“The Galra fucked me up.” His voice was sharp and wet in his throat. It scared him. Ever since he’d crash landed on Earth he’d been having flashbacks and nightmares. He’d lost control at some points, he’d seen the monster he had been and probably still was somewhere deep under his flesh. But not once had he cried about it.

He’d never even come this close.

He looked away, down to his tightened fist and the metal masquerading as the same thing. “Let it be worth something.”

“It’s not worth making you uncomfortable. It’s not worth any of the bad things you might feel because of it.”

Shiro closed his eyes, letting his mind settle in the silence they both let spread between them. _Breathe in while counting to ten. Slowly._

_Slower._

_There._

_Do the same thing but out instead of in._

_Keep it slow, Shiro._

_Steady._

When he opened his eyes again, his gaze was just as firm and resolute as her’s. “Let me decide that,” was his eventual response. When he said it, there was something deeply seated in the shock of lavender of her turquoise eyes. He couldn’t label it, wasn’t quite sure what it was. But he knew that whatever it was needed to see his whole face while he said his next words. “Since I misinterpreted the first time, what am I agreeing to? If I’m going to be your Kethelin, and you’re going to be my Kethal, what do we have to do to pull this off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might've gone a bit overboard with illustrating the situation, but I wanted this to be as consensual as it possibly could be given that Shiro accidentally and unknowingly signed himself up for it. Glad you made it through!
> 
> As always, come have fun with me on my [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/). Currently I don't post too much because I'm in Japan with weird hours and internet availability and I'm hiding from Voltron Season 3 spoilers (cause I can't watch it for a few more days), but come mid August I'll be back and super up for saying hello to all of you and getting excited over Voltron.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the normal update! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Tomorrow, Shiro had training after dinner. Then, depending on how long he trained, he was expected at some point to transfer some of his essentials to a different sector of the castle. The training sessions would be permanent in his schedule until the day of the meeting with the Hoo’thue council - a meeting that could last most of a quintant if things went their way. The changes to his schedule and living arrangements were practical given the extensive preparation needed, which is how they had explained it to the paladins and Coran. The actual nature of the preparation was on a need to know basis, meaning currently a grand total of two people knew what was going on.

Allura.

Shiro.

The latter groaned, shoving his hands through his hair.

No matter how official he made it sound in his head, Shiro just couldn’t make it sound _normal_. Nothing was _business as usual_ about it. For all his efforts, Shiro knew what it was all code for.

Shiro had sex practice after dinner. He was moving into Allura’s room for the next five quintants and literally _practicing having sex with her_. For, you know, however long they both saw fit. Had to do it in the name of being extra convincing, given how empathetic and sensitive the Hoo’thue could be.

Had to have sex practice.

Because the universe thought Shiro had had enough, so it was throwing him a bone. He was going to be having all sorts of sex with Allura for a week. Of course, none of the emotions part was going to be involved so insert the dreaded shoe drop here.

Except there was _another_ shoe to drop cause why not. The other shoe was that - ignoring the fact that he had a shit ton of unaddressed, heavily ignored PTSD and an apparent death wish the size of the teleduv - he’d been trying to smother his feelings for Allura for weeks now. Yet suddenly all his efforts were being chucked through a black hole.

Actually, wait, maybe that was the other way around and the dropped shoe was actually all the PTSD and the death wish thing and-

Nope. That sounded like a bunch of stuff he would rather leave unaddressed and heavily ignored. He – along with 72 other alternate reality Shiros per his theoretical Slav math – had the most ill-timed crush ever. 458 other Shiros were pining after Keith and another 52 were falling for Lance but no, not him. Not this Shiro. He had feelings for Allura, and they were not going to be smothered anytime soon.

Not after the talk he’d just finished having with her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“A sexual Kethelin in public is close to your concubine in private. They engage in sexual acts with their Kethal during events and meetings, even though others are present.” Allura’s grin was sharp - had she _shapeshifted_ her teeth that way? “Sometimes _because_ others are present.”

At first he tried to picture a no-faced Altean of royalty reaching over to casually cup her Kethelin’s breast during a meeting, working a necklace of hickeys around her neck as the night wore on, slipping slim fingers between her thighs. The eyes on them didn’t matter. Or maybe eyes wouldn’t be on them at all. If it was an Altean event and Kethelin were common, they would be continuing on with their conversations, their dances, their meals. Nothing out of the ordinary would be happening in their eyes.

Something invisible snapped in Shiro’s stomach, releasing heat that pooled inside him.

Okay, that needed to be analyzed later.

“H-How…” He cleared his throat. Bad start. Where was his Black Paladin voice when he needed it? “How is that not distracting?”

Allura pursed her lips, searching for an explanation she probably never had to ask herself. Being raised in the culture meant Kethelin were just _the usual_. “To be fair, sometimes it was distracting on purpose. A diplomacy tactic that confused visiting aliens. It made it easier for Altea to get what it wanted out of treaties.” Shiro couldn’t believe he was essentially listening to Allura admit that Altea had played dirty in the political game. Lance might even describe it as “filthy” while waggling his eyebrows, just in case anyone (probably Keith) missed the innuendo. “Though in general, the presence of Kethelin was so commonplace to begin with that Alteans didn’t find it distracting. As a culture, we’re very open with our sex lives. They don’t have to hold the same amount of special weight that it seems humans’ sex lives do. I’m not sure if I’m right about that, though?”

Which, alright, Earth had its humans that viewed sex that way. Shiro had a one night stand list from the times he’d snuck out of the Garrison. It wasn’t the longest one out there, but it had a handful of names. However Shiro was realizing that “open” on Earth did not equal “open” on Altea.

He offered her a shrug. “Humanity is diverse. Some hate it, some love it, some have it with anyone, some never do. It depends.”

Allura hummed, considering.

“There were rules about the Keth; etiquette that is followed in public spaces. At non sexual events sex toys were prohibited, and no sexual contact was allowed between someone in the Keth and someone outside of it.”

Meaning there were sex events. Shiro suddenly needed to go over the Castle’s archives again.

“And no ignoring anyone speaking to the Kethal. That usually means sex can’t be so distracting to the Kethal that participating in the meeting is impossible.” That sharp grin was back, and it was spread wide across Allura’s face. “Though, that was seen as more of a challenge than a rule.”

_That no-faced Altaen in Shiro’s imagination changed too quickly. Without warning she had the princess’s tiara, her expressive mouth and eyebrows, her strong fingers threaded through Shiro’s hair as he kissed the soft skin of her inner thighs, trailing his mouth higher, pressing his lips between her legs. Someone was talking to her, and she dipped her head to one side with careful consideration of their words. It didn’t matter what letter of the alphabet Shiro traced with his tongue, what teasing amount of teeth he used against her. Her gaze was steady, unaffected, even as she pressed against the back of his skull with the tips of her fingers._ **_More, Shiro._**

Change scene.

_Allura was pulling flowers from his skin, planting hickey after hickey along the base of his neck as he stood beside her. A Hoo’thuin asked a question that didn’t quite translate in Shiro’s head. It had nothing to do with a translator malfunction and everything to do with how her hand dipped below his waistband, her lips slipping from his reddened skin to reply. The Hoo’thuin’s eyes flickered towards him, probably tracking Allura’s movements. It made his knees buckle when they lingered long enough to watch his face as Allura’s fingers met his cock._

The want was too strong, the image too clear. The heat in his stomach turned to boiling. Shiro had to put a conscious effort into unclenching his fists as Allura waited for his response. “I see. So, so how should I – how should a Kethelin-“ he’d agreed not to consent to the whole thing until after she felt he knew what he was getting into, which meant no talking as if he was already her Kethelin “behave while publicly servicing their Kethal?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Allura had insisted he return to his quarters to think over the whole situation. He might have gone to the training room to work off the antsy feeling he couldn’t seem to shake, but the look she’d pinned him with had promised she’d tear the castle apart within the next hour to make sure he was doing as she suggested.

It was a good thing he’d done as she’d asked. It was why Shiro could groan loudly at the ceiling and not worry about any of his friends overhearing him.

There had been a lot of reasons why he’d agreed to the whole thing. He wanted to help, the world needed saving, he had to do what he could, this alliance was important, he hated being useless, he was no longer used to relaxing.

But a selfish part of him was excited. It was willing to take what it could get, because it knew Shiro would never be with Allura outside this opportunity. They could never date or hook-up or do whatever was normal for either of them because of, well, everything. Zarkon taking over the entire known universe. Allura leading the rebellion against him. Shiro leading the deadliest weapon in all the galaxies.

So screw it, he was going to enjoy this one thing. He’d never have it again.

His cock twitched with interest between his legs. After several seconds of surveying his room, scanning for things his nightmares remembered, he pressed the heel of his palm into the growing bulge in his pants.

_Shiro was strewn across Allura’s lap, naked and bared for the invisible artwork Allura was tracing into his skin. She’d been ignoring his erection for the past ten minutes and it hadn’t flagged yet, a fact that the council could attest to from where they sat around the table. One of her long nails caught on his nipple as she spoke with the Hoo’thuin to her right. Shiro’s breath hitched, his chest jerking upward._ **_Touch me, please._ **

With a jolt, Shiro jerked his hand away. Somehow the pressure was frustrating to him.

Oh god.

He’d really ruined masturbating? That was a _thing_?

What the actual fuck?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sleep evaded Shiro for most of the night, though for once it was because of how his insides were still shaking from the whole “Kethelin” situation, and _not_ his nightmares. It could have been an improvement - surely being anxious about sex with Allura was better than losing sleep from things he was afraid to remember - but Shiro wasn’t sure. And anyway, he had no plans of telling Allura. She’d feel horrible about it and take it as a sign to call the whole idea off. It wouldn’t matter that Shiro had sat through one of the most awkward yet intriguing three hour conversations of his life and said “yes” at the end.

Thanks to his unofficial insomnia, Shiro was at breakfast just before Coran. But _that_ was business as usual. Coran and Hunk had put their heads together a while back to try and concoct a proper substitute for Earth coffee that would satisfy Pidge and Shiro. The result tasted more like a bitter banana tea if such a thing existed, but it woke him up, so Shiro was starting his third cup by the time Allura and the rest of the paladins started to file in.

Allura entered with Hunk, discussing the possibility of looking into the designs of the Hoo’thuin scouting ships. Shiro immediately cast his gaze to the dark yellow of his drink, examining the almost flawless rim of the cup with a laser focus usually reserved for more important things like… not his mug of banana tea coffee.

_“If you’re absolutely certain you want to do this, Shiro, preparing for the meeting is going to be a bit more… involved than I originally had planned.” Allura leaned forward on her elbows, cradling her face in her hands. Her eyes had drifted to the floor, odd considering how intent she had been on keeping eye contact with him up until then._

_“Involved?” Shiro pressed himself back into the couch._

_There was a pause as she waited for something Shiro didn’t know. After a few more seconds she glanced his way again, gaze wavering around the edges. But the longer she stared the firmer that look of hers. “As it is, we’re awkward around each other. From a sexual standpoint and from a close friends standpoint anyway. Touching each other, being comfortable getting in each other’s space, all that has to be natural. Or look it, anyway.”_

_Shiro was sorely tempted to make some immature comment like “easy for you to say”, or “says who”. He hadn’t let himself feel childish and petulant since Kerberos - back when it had just been easy back and forth with Matt and the occasional helping of sass from Sam. Shiro just needed something to distract himself from how her fingers were twitching against her cheeks, like she was thinking of touching him right then, just as he was thinking of wanting to touch her. Instead, he crossed his arms. “I understand the need to make sure the… sex looks natural, but the casual interactions? I can handle it, princess.” Because he was doing such a great job at it right then._

_She huffed. “If I really had a Kethelin, I would ask they call me Allura, and they wouldn’t be so skilled at keeping five feet between us at all times. Which I believe proves my point.”_

Shiro dragged his eyes back up to where Allura was now assisting Hunk in getting out all the dishes he would need to make breakfast that morning. She was right. He treated her as a commanding officer, a superior who was filling out evaluations sheets on him next month. He obviously saw her as a friend as well, but his obligations as the Black Paladin kept him distant, and his feelings for her only made that distance worse.

He had to let all those carefully constructed walls of formality and subtlety down if this act of theirs was going to be even passable.

Hunk whipped up space pancakes - light green, fluffy yet unexpectedly dense - for the surprisingly bright eyed and bushy tailed paladins. Apparently everyone had found enough things to entertain them for a month, let alone the five quintants they had before Allura’s meeting with the council. Breakfast was often prolonged out of reluctance to do certain training exercises, but Lance finished eating in record time before racing off arm in arm with Pidge. They’d talked so quickly about what it was they were seeing that even as Shiro watched them run out the door, he wasn’t sure what it was. Something about a comedian? Some underwater show? A game? Eight-legged monkey bears? And hadn’t Pidge left with Keith the quintant before? What had happened to _that_ duo?

Keith excused himself a minute later to visit a Hoo’thue market where some junkers had put together a hoverbikes show. Hunk was quick to follow once Shiro, Allura, and Coran shooed him away from the dishes. Coran found his way out too, saying he needed to update the castle’s notes on the  Hoo’thue society through some field work.

Then there were two.

Allura returned to the kitchen with the last of the cups, her face scrunching up into a scowl upon seeing Shiro had already put all the other dishes into the space dishwasher. “I know we made Hunk leave because he already cooked, but you do a bit more work than your share too, Shiro.”

“And you don’t, _princess of Altea and pilot of the Castle_?”

Allura smirked. “Didn’t I tell you to call me Allura? You won’t be very convincing otherwise.”

“This time was to prove a point.”

She huffed at him in mock annoyance, and he offered her a tiny smile in return. Being with Allura could be so easy.

It was during those times that his heart hurt the most.

Then she slid in beside him, hooking the cups into place. The easy moment was gone now that she was in his bubble. He stiffened, realized his mistake, and quickly tried to play it off as a deep inhale. Allura was paying extra attention to him because of the new situation. There was no room for carelessness. Each reaction had to be normal, casual, and now they even had to be affectionate too (easy to do, but hard to take back when the week was up).

“So, our training isn’t until after dinner. What’s your plan until then?” she asked, voice unfairly level.

Shiro cleared his throat as he closed up the dishwasher. “We’re still not sure why the Galra haven’t bothered the Hoo’thue yet. I was hoping if I asked the right people, I could figure out- why are you looking at me like that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp! Could it be... slightly inappropriate content at long last?
> 
> Will there be more???
> 
> Why am I even pretending? You all know the answer.
> 
> Anyway, come say hi and talk to me at my [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/). I still haven't seen season 3 of Voltron yet, so please don't ask me about it for the next few days. Gotta avoid that spoiler life style. But soon. Soon. (Hopefully, if I have my way, "soon" will be "tomorrow night" when I'm back from Tokyo)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the fic continues. My goal is to update this every Sunday, but since I just got back from Japan and need to move back into my apartment and start school, I might be a little late with the next two updates. Hopefully that's not the case, though.
> 
> Enjoy!

As it turned out, Allura wasn’t pleased to find that Shiro was planning to work during his free time. “We’re on a heavily fortified planet currently untouched by Galra hands, which Coran will look into tonight. I promise.” She had tacked on that last bit to keep him from protesting. “But for now, everyone deserves a break. _Everyone_.”

So Shiro and Allura found themselves in what seemed to be a town square. All around them Hoo’thue strode back and forth with what looked like large, wooden flutes. They propped them up like poles throughout the square, and then began to drape the entire area in shimmering ribbons that flickered between colors in the sunlight. Apparently some festival was coming, but Shiro didn’t remember anything about it in Coran’s lesson on the planet.

“And, before you protest the idea, I’ve already thought of a way to still be productive,” Allura had added cheerfully. “If it’s alright with you, today would be a good day to practice touching each other – just casually. You can’t have a strong Keth without that.” If Shiro hadn’t known she was sounding so calm and enthused about it for his own benefit, he might’ve thought she was actually excited about the idea.

Even though he knew that to be impossible.

And _that_ was how Shiro and Allura had wound up with their arms, well, wound up. As was Altean tradition, Shiro had his left arm wrapped around her right, his fingertips grazing her shoulder. When the wind blew and ruffled his bangs backwards over his head, Allura hesitated only a moment before slipping her fingers through his bangs and settling them back into place. A low-flying hovercart glided past them and Allura swept Shiro to one side with that invisible strength of hers.

It always slipped his mind and yet he could never forget. Not really.

Shiro hadn't actually been in the cart’s path; he’d already figured how close it would come and the fact that he wouldn’t have to move. But Allura was practicing this casualness he’d always been so careful to avoid. She went to pull away immediately after, but instead paused and gave him a look. The one she usually had when trying to solve a non-crucial problem: driven by sheer will to find a solution, but not fueled by a time frame or drastic circumstances. Her hand settled back down for a moment longer and gently squeezed the flesh of his hip.

His heart tripped in his chest and made no effort to get back up as she let him return to her right side. He’d almost believed she’d wanted to keep her hand there and pull him against her.

Almost.

Shiro just knew better.

But the Hoo’thue didn’t. Her act was near perfect. Shiro needed to imitate it.

And he could. He knew he could. All Shiro had to do was actually act on his feelings and let them show through. Why was he so afraid of that? Allura wouldn’t know. He could pass it off as convincing acting to make sure the meeting went without a hitch. The Hoo’thue had to believe their act; that was all. If anything, using his feelings to fuel the Keth would be even better given how sensitive the Hoo’thue apparently were to emotions.

But things he knew in his head were logical didn’t seem to fly in his heart.

As they continued their exploration of the market streets, Allura paused and leaned forward to watch a trio of scaly, feathered creatures scuttle about a merchant’s display, her long hair slipping off her shoulder and onto the table. One creature paused, eight milky eyes zeroing in on the strand of hair with fascination as its forked tongue flitted out.

_Touching each other has to be natural._ Shiro _wanted_ it to be natural.

So he didn’t stop himself from reaching out and tucking the strand behind her ear, sending a withering glare at the little animal.

Her turquoise eyes met his. “Even off duty you look out for every last detail?”

He didn’t fight his soft smile while his left hand slid across her shoulders. “Not one hair out of place,” he answered. He loved her giggle in response.

When she stood tall once more, he let his hand slip back around her arm. She reached to squeeze his hand with her own. Casual. Easy. Shiro could do that. He squeezed back.

Her smile turned sharp as she squeezed again, harder this time. Interesting. Shiroreturned the favor, seeing the spark of competition in her eyes.

“Think you can match me?”

Shiro hummed, a bright and playful note that caught her by surprise. “I think I can beat you.”

“But you don’t _know_ that you can,” Allura teased.

Both their lips curled into grins. It was quick. The challenge was thoughtless and carefree. This whole “having fun” and “harmless teasing” and “casual touches” thing was just so _easy_ when Shiro let it happen.

It was only going to make it all hurt more when the meeting ended and things inevitably went back to the way they had to.

They cleared a table at an outdoor café, settling in for an old-fashioned arm wrestling match which Shiro was fairly positive he hadn’t done since before Kerberos. For a solid thirty seconds, they were at a standstill, Shiro’s knuckles white from how tense his hand had gone. A few Hoo’thue glanced over, membranes pale green in curiosity. They each continued to squeeze and push harder and harder, arms shaking from the effort, until suddenly Allura’s eyebrows snapped downwards.

Her hand seemed to become steel around his own, and with a soft snarl she slammed his arm into the table.

Shiro’s eyes hardly had time to widen before his arm snapped to the left, then he hissed in pain immediately after as she slowly retracted her claw grip. It had been a literal smackdown, and even in the seconds that followed Shiro’s hand was throbbing.

When Shiro glanced up, he saw Allura’s jaw had dropped. “Oh, Shiro, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

His laughter cut her off. “Wow. That was harsh. You were just playing with me that whole time, weren’t you?”

Allura’s cheeks darkened. “Not the whole time! I was just… getting a little bored… right at the end.” She pouted, a look Shiro had seen Lance wear a hundred times and yet had never shot straight to his heart like it did when Allura wore it.

“You might be a tad competitive,” Shiro offered with a shrug and a smile.

“Oh? _You’re_ one to talk.”

Shiro pressed a hand to his chest. “You would say such a thing about _me_? I’ll have you know I was nothing if not a team player back at the Garrison.” The graceful quirk of her eyebrows said she wasn’t buying it. He huffed, mock-offended by her disbelief. “Well fine. If we’re both just as competitive, maybe this calls for a rematch?”

“Why not give me a real challenge and go right-handed?”

The comeback died in Shiro’s throat, and Allura’s own untamable fire flickered out in her eyes. The paladins were better about it than she was, more aware of what the Black Paladin was trying to avoid. Maybe it was because of their link through Voltron or alien cultural differences, but Allura didn't seem to have that awareness down to the same degree. He was always hesitant about touching others with the Galra arm - at least in situations where a lot of negative emotions were boiling to the surface, and that tended to slip her mind. If something was going to upset or anger him or - in this case - get him feeling aggressive, then he was at greater risk of having a flashback and activating the arm.

And he’d never forgive himself if he scarred a teammate.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Shiro. A-again. I wasn’t thinking. Forgive me?”

He leveled her with a considering look, watching the subtle, uneasy shifts of her body. Then he stood and stretched out his left arm, already bent at the elbow with fingers curled just where he now knew her shoulder would be. “Always. Well, when you’ve earned it, anyway. Can’t just go forgiving everyone left and right. I’ve got a team to lead. Disappointed stares to give out.”

“Oh, the patented Space Dad stare?”

Shiro groaned. “Are they still calling it that? I’m not sure how accurate that even is.”

Allura smirked. “You’re very good at dealing out disappointment. But if I were to guess, I’d say they call it the Space Dad stare less because they see you as a father figure, and more because your entire face pinches when they say it.” She stood, smoothing out her skirt. “Either way, I have _yet_ to see it for myself.”

Shiro snorted. “You’ve got plenty of time.” She offered him a relieved smile in return, sliding her right arm into place around his. The air rushed out of his lungs in a hiss. “Okay, that still stings a little.”

This time it was Allura who gave him that look of consideration. Then her smile went twisted. “Maybe I can make it up to you tonight.”

Oh.

Shiro’s heartbeat turned loud in his ears.

There was still that.

\- - - - - 

The air back in the Castle was buzzing. Keith and Hunk had bid on some old hoverbikes they were confident they could repair. Hunk kept going on and on about it over dinner; the faster, more discreet way of travel they’d have on planet surfaces and in dense asteroid fields would be perfect. They’d call far less attention to themselves riding patchwork hoverbikes than they would in their two story lions. Keith chipped in rarely, but when he did it was with that far-off look Shiro recalled from those nights the two of them had snuck out onto the roof (or out of the Garrison entirely) to stare at the stars. He hoped no one outbid them on the bikes. There was no doubt in his mind that Keith missed his red racer on Earth.

As for Lance and Pidge - and Shiro still had no idea how the pair ended up forming - it turned out it was a game show hosted by a comedian _underwater_ , and the eight-legged monkey bears were apparently there to spice things up because somehow the first half of the show’s description wasn’t good enough. Lance loved the underwater part, Pidge ended up breaking the game when chosen as a volunteer, but both found that Hoo’thue humor was not as good as people humor - possibly because not all the whistling translated correctly, and ended up leaving after Lance complained about the game show because he hadn’t gotten picked. Pidge snapped at him, they got in a huge fight, Lance mentioned that the game show reminded him of Earth and made him homesick, Pidge felt like a huge dick, her own homesickness came out, lots of crying was apparently had, and as an apology Pidge used the last of her allowance from Allura to buy Lance spa supplies. So, in general a wild ride from start to finish. The next day had been labeled "Pidge and Lance spa day" (well, morning, as they both agreed there were other things they were going to do in the afternoon).

“Pidge and I need another bonding moment to seal today’s bonding moment,” Lance explained matter-of-factly.

“ _We had one of those once!_ ” Keith snapped back.

That sort of comment might have led to a fight, except Coran was asking about other hoverbikes he could invest his own money into, and suddenly Keith was getting sucked back into _that_ conversation.

Business as usual.

A perfectly normal “family dinner” as Lance and Hunk called it.

But even as the excited conversations died down to leisurely eating and small talk, Shiro still felt the buzzing in the air.

Things weren’t business as usual. Not for him.

Allura suddenly shot him a look from across the table. She stood, gathering her empty plate. “Shiro, I was thinking we might want to start preparing for the diplomatic meeting tonight. There are some Hoo’thue formalities I want to make sure we both have right. Would you mind?”

He followed her example, collecting his own picked-clean dishes. “Of course not, princess.” He knew he needed to call her Allura, but he needed to save it for the right situations. The rest of the team still didn’t know. They'd agreed to tell their fellow Paladins that, in order to be allowed into the meeting, Shiro had claimed to be her bonded bodyguard, sworn to follow her around and escort her to all the important events and protect her from the jaws of death. All that good stuff. It would at least explain their sudden closeness. “Let me just put these away for us, then I’m good to go.”

Her gaze somehow brightened as she handed him her plate. “Alright. Meet me at my room then. I’ll go get some materials for us.”

There were no speculative whispers, no suspicious stares as Shiro went to put their dishes away. Nobody suspected a thing. He’d acted perfectly casual, and she’d done the same. He was about to go to her room to practice sex and no one was the wiser.

Shiro just had to keep projecting the Black Paladin. If he did that he was _pretty_ sure he could make it to her room in one go, no turning around or back tracking necessary. Besides, it wasn’t like he was a blushing virgin. He’d had sex before.

It had just been a while since Shiro’d had sex with someone he had such strong feelings for. Plus, she was an alien. Plus, she was a princess. Plus, _this was scheduled sex practice._

Shiro needed to do less thinking.

He knocked on her door instead.

“Come in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's Allura saying that last line, but every time I read it I imagine Ursula from The Little Mermaid instead. Whoops.
> 
> Anyway, feel free to come say "hi" and hang out with me on my [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/).


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Moving into my apartment plus preparing for the eclipse got me off schedule.
> 
> Anyway, here we go.

Allura was leaning against her headboard, a tablet in hand as she flicked through Altaen text. Her hair flowed over her shoulders; cape, corset, gloves, and overskirt folded elsewhere, leaving her in her simple white dress. When she glanced up, the smile she gave him was easy, lacking in the instant seduction he had been expecting. So they were going to talk things through again. Shiro wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.

“How about you take a seat, Shiro.”

Shiro sat down beside her, leaving enough space for some invisible person to sit between them. Or stretch out their arms. Or lay down entirely. Easing into the whole thing was probably better for both of them. Rushing could lead to misinterpretation, and that was what got them  _ into _ their current situation. 

Well, to be fair, that was what got  _ Shiro _ into the current situation. Then he’d accidentally dragged Allura along for the ride.

“We don’t have to instantly have sex. There’s no guidebook for training a couple to fake the Keth,” she started. “We’re going to need every quintant between now and the meeting to get to the point where we’re believable, but first we can just try things out for us.”

_ For us. _ Those words echoed in Shiro’s head. He was so used to doing things for the mission or the team or the fate of the world. He needed to get used to the now foreign idea that, before they approached the whole sex thing “for the meeting”, they approached it “for them”.

But not too much. Because Shiro’s feelings didn’t need anymore encouragement.

“Okay. Just start with the basics, huh?”

Allura nodded. “Some hopefully easy back and forth. How about… I’ve had two serious lovers, and six brief lovers. I refuse to count Eni.”

“Eni?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “We sneak into _one_ _Sezzra_ together to get a new form and everyone thinks you’re gonna be partners at the next one. And that Sezzra was the most embarrassing one I’d ever been to, so I’m just going to take her off the list. She doesn’t count.”

Shiro frowned, furrowing his brow. There must’ve been a translation error because he was lost. Still, he… sort of understood? Fifteen years old in the Garrison and he’d barely gotten into Adrian’s mouth when he came. Adrian, thankfully understanding of a fellow fifteen-year-old’s plight, had simply said Shiro probably wouldn’t want to claim that as his first time getting blown. Adrian’s lips were still sealed as far as Shiro knew.

“Alright, sounds fair. I’ve had one serious partner, and I’ve gotten together with four other people.”

Allura hummed. “So neither of us are new to sex. Okay. That’s probably for the best. We both have more of an idea of what we’re getting into that way. Though you being human and me being Altean could be fun.”

Right, that was something they couldn’t ignore. “I’d meant to ask yesterday. Will that… work? We don’t even know about each other’s biology.”

Allura set the tablet aside, her lips quirking upwards on one side. “Well, we weren’t famous diplomats for nothing. If shapeshifting our bodies to blend in didn’t do us any favors with whatever aliens we were speaking to, shapeshifting for sex certainly did.” And then the princess of Altea had the audacity to  _ wink at him. _

Shiro’s spine went straight as a rod. “You can- for sex?

“Well what do you think happens down there when I shapeshift? I mean, I  _ could _ leave it with the Altean set, but where would be the fun in that?”

Shiro wasn’t sure he was able to breathe anymore. In his mental theater he’d been leaving the parts between her legs vague and undefined because he didn’t know what was down there. He hadn’t realized it needed to be vague because she could  _ redefine it. _ Shiro’s laugh was tight and small but it was there, which was more than he thought he was going to manage. It was hard to laugh when some rather crazy fantasies of Shiro’s were being rapidly unearthed by the revelation that he was going to have sex with a shapeshifter. “So, you can just shapeshift into anything you want or-?” 

Allura shook her head. “I have to see it before I can imitate it, but I’ve been to enough  _ Sezzra _ s to have a good amount at my disposal.” Her giggle that followed said she enjoyed seeing Shiro’s jaw drop at the idea. He still had no idea what a Sezzra was, but apparently for Allura it had been… educational. “I’m sure I have something that will work for us. Or some, if we can’t decide.”

_ Some. As in plural. _ Shiro wasn’t going to get so presumptuous as to assume she meant she could shapeshift into multiple at one time. The odds of him dying in their current reality would increase by a thousand percent.

“And reproducing isn’t an issue? Or any sort of.. sex-based sickness?” It felt odd to be using all these formal terms, like Shiro was doing a poor impression of a medical textbook.

“No, I haven’t decided to slip into my conception state, so that shouldn’t be a problem assuming we  _ could _ have children together. And Alteans have a strong immunity to those sorts of sicknesses given our capabilities, so I would have nothing to transfer to you, and anything you transferred to me would be harmless.” Allura shrugged, tucking her knees beneath her. “Though if you have something, I’m sure Coran would be willing to reconfigure some of the pod’s processes to fix it.”

“Oh, thank you. But uh, I’m good. My health record was clean on that front when I went on the Kerberos-“ Shiro’s voice cut off as all the blank spots in his memory resurfaced, dark and vague and pounding. There were some things he couldn’t say for certain anymore. His flashbacks tended to come during fights in Voltron, so most of his recalled memories were related to that. But he knew there had to be those other moments, the times where he was in a cell or being worked on by Haggar. None of that had returned to him. Instead it loomed in his head, the darkened basement he needed to investigate. Unfortunately he didn’t have a flashlight. “So it should be fine,” he finished, voice just as even as before despite the small pause.

Allura’s smile slipped off her face. She must have figured out what he was thinking in that split second. Dammit. “Well you know, after the meeting we should both be checked anyway. An Altean’s never mated with a human as far as I know, so it would be best to see how we were affected.”

Shiro hated that she felt the need to say that, to make accommodations for him. She was the princess.  _ He _ needed to be bending to  _ her _ needs to make sure everything helped her be at her best – well, unless she was about to do something rash, which was often the case. It was the least he could do. She didn’t need to put all this effort into checking in on him and making sure he was alright.

Shiro already knew the answer. He already knew what she’d find if she looked too deep. 

He didn’t need her and Coran and the rest of Voltron trying to help with his problems and fix him. That wasn’t their job. They had so much else to be doing, so many other concerns on their plates.

It was his job, his mess, his own ridiculous problem that he couldn’t seem to grasp no matter how long he thought about it.  _ He _ needed to make himself better. He was just really fucking terrible at it.

But they couldn’t know.  _ Allura _ couldn’t know. His problems were his own, and it would only make everything worse if he bothered them with any of it.

“That sounds like the safest idea.”

For a half second Allura’s face pinched, but then she was back to normal and leaning up and out of her spot by the headboard to inch closer to Shiro. “So, when was the last time you were… together with someone, was that how you put it? With one of your brief lovers?”

That actually made Shiro pause. It was such an easy question until he realized how far back he was going to find that moment, in the little neon lights club two hours out from the Garrison after Matt insisted all day that they go party before they went on the Kerberos mission. The guy had instantly won an official Matt-guided introduction to Shiro thanks to his cheesy space puns –  _ An astronaut, huh? And here I was thinking I’d be the  _ **_star_ ** _ of the show with my art projects. But no, your job had to be just  _ **_out of this world_ ** _ , didn’t it? _ The delivery paired with a shit-eating grin had been spot on; Matt had nearly choked on his beer. Shiro had learned quite a few things that night in a tiny artist’s apartment on the edge of the desert, including how to properly remove someone’s binder and the perks of having four different strap-ons. “Two and a half years ago, my last weekend before Kerberos. Pidge’s brother, Matt, thought we had earned a party with as many humans as possible since we weren’t going to be seeing any for years.”

“Was it Matt?”

Shiro laughed, running a hand through his bangs. For a brief moment Shiro found himself imagining being trapped in a tiny ship with the Holts after having sex with Matt. He couldn’t decide if that would have been fun or completely horrible. “Ah, no, an artist guy. His name was Mejia. Still it’s… it’s been awhile.”

Allura snorted. “Well, it feels like I had sex a few movements or so ago, but it’s really been ten thousand years so, pardon me Shiro. I do believe I win this one.”

“It’s always winning with you,” Shiro retorted with a challenging smirk. “Do you have other things you do besides the actual, you know, sex stuff? Things that usually mean you’re with someone sexually, even when you’re not doing something sexual?”

Allura blinked owlishly at him. “No? Kethal and Kethelin simply  _ do  _ something sexual.”

Ah. Maybe he could’ve better worded the meaning behind “kissing”. Kissing could be done for lots of reasons, after all. “Well, I guess I mean that sometimes sex isn’t something you want or do with a person, but you do this thing anyway? Like, it wouldn’t only ever be with someone like a concubine or Kethelin. You do the action to be physically close to them. You  _ could _ have sex, but sometimes you just don’t want to? Or maybe you don’t ever? But you do other stuff to show how close you are with that person instead of other people, or to show how much you want them?” Shiro felt like he was talking in circles. “Uh, does ‘kissing’ translate into anything for you?”

That got her to straighten. “Yes, I believe so. The translation isn’t exact, it seems. I wonder how it’s different. Do you use your mouth in yours?” Shiro nodded, tilting his head to the side as she worked something out. “Do you put your mouth around parts of your partner when you do it? Like-“ Allura cut herself off to wrap her mouth around her wrist, putting it between her teeth. Around her wrist Shiro could see a soft, circular motion in her jaw. “I mean, usually it’s around the neck or wrist area instead, but everywhere on the body has probably been done before. Is it like that for you?

Shiro was constantly thinking of how everything could be different when it came to aliens, how biology and culture meant that something as “simple” as a kiss could be completely opposite. And yet there he was, being caught off guard (but definitely fascinated) by what she was doing. “Uh… No? Not like that, anyway. That kinda seems more like a really, er, sensual bite? I mean, people might do that but we don’t have a specific word for it.”

“Oh. Then what do you do with your mouth then?”

“You can technically kiss people anywhere and it means different things. Parents can kiss their kids on the forehead or cheek or on places where they’ve been hurt to make them feel better. Sometimes it’s polite to kiss people on the back of the hand. But usually kissing between two partners means putting your mouth on their mouth.” Which sounded really dumb the moment Shiro said it but, well, that  _ was _ what happened. It just felt way better in reality than it did in words. 

“On each other’s mouths? I’m not quite sure how that would work,” Allura noted with a confused frown.

“Lips are involved more than teeth usually. Can I…” Oh no. “Is it alright if I show you? Kiss you the way humans do?” There it was. He’d said it. He’d offered to kiss her.  _ You’ll be offering to do more than that. If you couldn’t even ask to kiss her you’d have bigger problems. _

Allura nodded, eager as she scooted closer. Her eyes, though, were still wide and sparkling from the lights in her room. It made Shiro pause. Luckily his hesitation made her smile and close her eyes. “I won’t watch if it makes you nervous.”

“A-actually, it’s just that we close our eyes when we kiss on the lips. Everywhere else is fine, but it’s kind of… weird to have them open when they’re that close.”

“Oh. Okay then.” Allura kept her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted as she waited, seemingly far too interested in learning how humans kissed than how awkward it all could be.

Shiro felt ridiculous slipping off his shoes before going to kiss her – as if feet were in any way involved – but he didn’t want his boots dirtying her bed as he climbed up to meet her in the middle where she sat. Allura remained mostly still, though she shifted her weight as the bed moved to accommodate him, and her fingers absently danced at her knees as she waited.

For a moment all he did was stare, enraptured with the slow sway of her head from side to side the longer she waited, the flickering of her white eyelashes just above her cheeks because she was tempted to peek despite his request. Allura usually did her best to be the princess she assumed she had to be, calm and steady and strategic and patient. But bits of her own personality always managed to peek out through the cracks: her brashness, her inability to tolerate a slight or an insult, the need to sass back even when it wasn’t smart, her emotions always bubbling at the surface, the need to push and push even when she might push too far. Some of it was good and some of it was bad, but she was slowly finding her own way to balance it all, to be the princess only she could be. 

_ I’m so screwed. _

With a shaky inhale Shiro cradled her cheek in his left hand and pressed their lips together.

It was short, hardly even a peck. Allura cracked an eye open. “That’s it?”

“Well, no, but I wasn’t sure if you-“

“I want to do what will make you comfortable Shiro,” Allura assured him, without missing a beat so much as she simply steamrolled over his own words. She pressed on, still with that one eye open. “If that’s what you were about to say, anyway. I want to learn about how humans do things. I want to learn what things you like. If you don’t want to keep kissing me that’s a different story.”

_ I want to keep kissing you. _

This was so dangerous.

“No, I just- if it’s fine with you then it’s fine with me,” Shiro managed, wetting his lips with a quick swipe of his tongue as he watched her eye slowly close again. It felt as if she still was staring at him through her eyelids, speculating how fine it really was.

Shiro pressed their lips together, this time lingering, pushing, catching her bottom lip. Allura was stiff at first, sluggishly taking in his movements, her head a little too still as Shiro changed his angle and kissed her again. He brought his hand down along her neck in a caress, and in response a hand of her own slid up to squeeze the jut of his hip, then higher still to tuck against his waist. A part of his vest rose to follow, but Shiro ignored it as he continued. For a split second his tongue passed over the seal of her lips, asking a question she probably couldn’t translate.  _ Shit, this is probably too far just to be showing her how humans kiss. _ He jerked his head back enough to gasp for breath before pushing forward again, causing Allura to inch backwards as he invaded her space. He needed to keep control of himself. He had kissed her. It needed to be over with.

But if she couldn’t translate what he’d been asking seconds earlier, then she was a damn good guesser. Her lips parted and her own tongue slipped out this time, mimicking his earlier movements. His own grab for air had woken something in her, because suddenly she was trying to kiss him back the way humans did. Her movements were clumsy, jerkish, unnatural, but they were honest and they were bold. When he parted his lips, she wasted no time, her tongue exploring him for herself. Her other hand climbed to match the first where it rested curled around his waist, and then suddenly she was snatching him closer.

They toppled backwards, Shiro scrambling with both hands to catch himself as Allura’s back hit the sheets beneath. Their teeth clashed and his nose hit some part of her face. He yanked himself back, eyes wide.

“S-Sorry, I should have-“

Allura, however, laughed and shook her head. “It’s fine, Shiro. I forget my own strength. I just hope you’re fine with kissing me. I can’t imagine I’ve been very good at it so far.”

Her kissing skills were lacking, but that was true of most anyone who was kissing for the first time. “It’s alright. I just hope you’re having fun even though it’s not the Altaen kind.” He paused, waiting for a response, but she was beaming up at him, that smile on her face probably trying to tell him something. “Practice makes perfect?” Shiro offered with a shrug and a smile.

There was a flash of teeth in her smile. “That it does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm taking my sweet time and that's a little mean. Sorry lovelies.
> 
> Maybe next week? 
> 
> Anyway, hope all the Americans out there got a good view of the eclipse! I'm about to start posting all my Voltron season 3 spoilers, but they'll be tagged, so if you wanna come nerd out with me about Voltron, check me out on [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/).


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do they bang yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed you all this week. Thanks for all the comments! They've been making my month!

They continued to kiss, falling into a pleasant lull in Shiro’s thinking as she cradled his face with one hand and kept the other sliding up and down his ribcage. For all that he’d been hesitant to kiss her with tongue, it seemed like she was far more addicted to it than the earlier peck. If anything, it was rather unfair with how quickly she took to it. Aggressive. Forward. 

Shiro honestly should have guessed she would be that way. Should’ve known and been prepared for how much he loved kissing her.

His own hands were too busy propping himself up, something she sought to remedy as her grip on him tightened and one of her knees slipped between his. Suddenly she twisted. Her room slipped sideways.

Someone yelped (and that someone was undoubtedly Shiro).

Shiro was on his back, all wide eyes and parted lips as he got his bearings in his new place slotted into the dip of her bed.

“Your hands seemed a little busy doing unnecessary things,” Allura explained with ease, as if she was just stating fact. “I thought if we switched it around, they could be doing something else instead. If you want, that is.”

Shiro’s gray eyes flicked down to where his metal hand dug into the sheets. He could feel them, even if he no longer had skin or nerves. “Allura, are you sure you want-“

“I know what I said, Shiro,” she snapped. Shiro’s gaze shot back to hers. “Sorry. I’ve been interrupting you a lot. I just-” Her own eyes slid sideways this time as she chewed her lip. Her right hand slid up and over his chest, the thumb caressing his lips before her fingers threaded through his bangs. “I… A Kethal finds something to love and enjoy about every part of their Kethelin. That’s no different here. If we’re going to do this, let’s have fun. That hand’s done some useful things for you, even if the Galra made it. Lots of good things. Let’s see if it can do anything else good, alright?”

His metal fingers flexed against the sheets, reached towards her hip, and then fell back to the bed, curling into a fist. He knew it was silly not to touch people with it, so usually he was good about treating it like his other hand.

But there was something about touching her here, in her bed, when they both were so vulnerable, that made him hesitate.

And in the end that hesitation lasted long enough to keep his Galra hand digging into the bed. Allura’s own hand – warm flesh and blood and nerves – chased after his reluctant fingers, intertwining without hesitation, not flinching away from its chilled bite.

“Okay. If you want your hand to stay here that’s fine. You said you probably wouldn't want to use it when we talked. I should have remembered. That's on me… Is it okay if I kiss you now? The Altean way?”

Shiro focused on making sure the Galra hand didn’t shake beneath her touch. Still, he managed a nod. “Do I have to close my eyes for it?”

Her hand slid over the metal of his arm, tracing grooves up and up until she met the sleeve of his shirt. She paused there, drawing circles into his shoulder. “If you want. Though, with this high collar of yours and those long sleeves, I might just have to ask you to take this off.” The tip of her finger curled into the fabric and pulled as if to demonstrate what she meant by “off”.

“No.” Her eyes snapped up to his in surprise. It had come out a little harsher than he’d intended, but he wasn’t about to just take it back. Instead, he swallowed hard. There were reasons. He needed her to respect them. Though, admittedly with her shocked look he was feeling a little dumb for wanting to be so adamant about it. “I… I don’t know if… It’s really bright,” he finished, feeling disjointed and awkward.

Allura’s brow furrowed. “The castle happens to be very capable of powering all of our-“ a pause as the real problem occurred to her. Her entire expression hardened. “I’ve been in battle before, Shiro. We all have. Everybody’s got scars. Yours won’t be any uglier than mine. They won’t even  _ be _ ugly.”

“Allura.”

“What do you think I’ll do when I see them?”

“Yellow.”

If Allura had fur, she would have been bristling up until he’d said “yellow”, breathless and small on his lips. Her whole body went loose and still above him, contemplating, replaying the last few moments. Her face pinched, troubled by something during the replay of it all, then it smoothed out just as quickly. 

She leaned down to give him another human kiss, short and sweet. He was glad she liked them. And, maybe beneath that was the satisfying thought of her liking them because of him. “I’m sorry. I want everything we do to be comfortable and consensual. I didn’t mean for it to sound like it was pressuring. Or, I didn’t mean to be pressuring you at all, because that’s what I was doing. The issue is… it’s separate. I should keep that separate from this, because this is about both of us. Together. You have every right to set your boundaries and I need to follow them.” 

Shiro smiled, nervous but glad to see her reaction. Colors worked. “Thank you.”

Allura inhaled deeply, fighting something inside herself. They had opposite problems. Shiro tended to lock his feelings into tiny boxes where they couldn’t breathe, hoping they’d die. Allura let hers bubble to the surface, forgetting that her feelings could hurt others. 

“But, if you’d like, I could show you how the lights dim,” she murmured after a few slow breaths. “There are some built into the headboard and at the end of the bed so we don’t crash into each other, but it’ll still be pretty dark. Will it be okay then? If not, that’s fine. It can stay on.”

He took his time just breathing, mulling over her answer. It had taken her a bit to back off, but now that she had, he saw she was asking because she would listen. “Yes,” was his eventual answer, murmured back in the same low tone as hers. 

“Lights out then.” She stretched past his head towards her headboard, touching something that made the lights all around them sink into darkness. Turquoise strips at the headboard and foot of the bed still glowed just as she said they would, but the shadows were thick and the light soft and non intrusive. “Good to go?” Her fingertips, cool and capped with delicate nails, trailed down his front at a meandering pace. Occasionally they dug into the fabric, teasing at a future with skin to skin touch. Shiro watched them wander with a focus usually reserved for tight situations with the gladiator. By the time one hand had hit his belt, the other had opened his vest, leaving him in the skin-tight gray shirt he always favored.

Her fingers dipped beneath, greeting the soft yet hard of his skin. She tore a small gasp from him at the same time as his breathy “yes” with that simple touch.

Then she was peeling the shirt off him, pausing for a moment with the shirt and vest gathered at his elbows above his head to press him back into the sheets, pinned, and openly devour him with her eyes. There really was no other way to describe what she was doing. Even in the almost dark the glow was enough to highlight the swell of his pecs and his ab muscles. It was cold in Allura’s room with so much skin on display, but everywhere her eyes raked Shiro felt heat flare. He was fire wrapped in ice, and it was only a matter of time until the ice melted and his skin flushed red.

The longer she stared, the harder it was for Shiro to fight the urge to squirm. Allura’s free hand skated down over his clavicle, earning not-so-well-contained jerks and gasps when she skimmed over his nipples and his ribs and the shallow dips between his muscles. Her fingers reconsidered when they reached the top of his pants, racing back to pinch his left nipple. It was impossible to hid the way his head pressed back into the pillow, torso twisting.

“ _ Allura _ .” To the day he died he was going to claim that  _ wasn't  _ a whine. 

Her answering sigh was dramatic and disappointed, but she finished yanking off his shirt and vest. “Alright, alright. What was it that you told Keith? He mumbles it under his breath sometimes. Patience yields focus?”

Her head ducked towards his chest, warm breath falling on hyper-aware skin.

“I-I think focusing might be part of the problem,” Shiro answered with a rush of honesty.

All she gave him in return was an amused huff. Then, settling on a spot just below his left pec, along the curve of his ribs, she pressed her open mouth to skin and let her teeth slowly sink into flesh.

Shiro went still. Allura began to rotate her lower set of teeth, softly digging into the flesh beneath like the weirdest massage Shiro might ever receive. It was a strange sensation, one that didn’t sting or suck, just felt with the ridges of her teeth. It was like the incorrect beginnings of an attempt at a hickey, except as she shifted to let her tongue glide over the subtle indents her teeth left behind, Shiro found he liked it more and more.

It was weird, but hell if Shiro wasn’t a little weird too. Beneath her teeth his muscles turned to water.

“Well? Do you like it?”

Shiro licked his lips. “It’s… Yeah. It’s- It’s definitely different, but in a good way,” he said through a laugh.

Allura switched spots a few times, letting precious ticks pass where all she did was rake her teeth over the notches of his ribs beneath skin. But she always found somewhere new to kiss: the soft skin of his waist, the meat of his pec, the jut of his right hip. Shiro wondered briefly if she could still feel the stretch of scars over his torso, but then she rolled his right nipple between her teeth and his thoughts derailed.

Allura returned to her Altean kissing, and Shiro let his weight ease into the bed as each muscle loosened. His flesh hand slid up her arm and into the tousled waves of her hair, absently following her as she explored him. Her demonstration was starting to feel far more in depth than his, despite the seeming lack of change in her technique. Maybe it was just the amount of time she was taking. Maybe-

Her heated breath fell on his abdomen, just above the hem of his pants.

Shiro went rigid. His skin was suddenly  _ very _ aware of every strand of white hair that fell on him, idly curling and whispering against scars and muscle. If she ducked her head a little further Shiro’s interest in what they were doing – and where her mouth was – would become very clear  _ very _ quickly. His cock was deciding it wanted to be involved now, and his fingers went tight against the base of her skull.

From behind her curtain of hair, Allura must have glanced down, because suddenly she was sliding back up the length of his torso until her lips lingered an inch above his own. 

“Would you mind if we moved on, Shiro? I’d like to see what you have to work with under here.” She tugged just beneath the button of his pants with a fingertip that was there so quickly Shiro’s hips jerked in surprise.

“To work with, huh?” Shiro panted, watching her descend towards the tent in his pants through dark eyelashes.

“Well, also for us to have fun with. You have the expression too, right? As your sexual partner and Kethal I should learn all I can about your body. How it works, how to make you happy. Otherwise we wouldn’t convince anyone.” Her look up at him turned mischievous as her fingertip continued to tease the top of his zipper, edging it downwards with easy circles of her nail. “And  _ maaaaybe _ I'm a little curious.”

Was it hot in her room or was every inch of his insides on fire? It was one or the other, though he was leaning towards the latter. “I, uh, okay. Sure, I mean, i-it’s fine. Here, I’ll just-“ Shiro started to sit up, reaching for his pants, but Allura swatted his hands away.

“Trying to take away my fun, are you?”

Shiro settled back against the bed, hands up in mock surrender. “No, no! Of course not.” Shiro’s hyper focus was back, watching as Allura slowly pulled his zipper down and worked open the button of his pants. His dick was growing impatient, twitching as it felt Allura slide the first layer down his hips and thighs. He wanted her to touch him, but the more time she took dragging her hands back over his thighs, lightly scratching against the coarse hair of his legs, up and up until her nails toyed with the hem of his briefs, the more it felt like he’d swallowed a nest of butterflies. There was a flicker of nervousness in the pit of his stomach. It flared to life at the idea of being completely bare in front of Allura, even as arousal spread through the rest of him.

Which was ridiculous. He’d been-

“Ah!”

Allura had pressed her lips to his bulge, mouthing at his cock through the fabric. She smirked, sliding her fingers further down to feel his balls as she skimmed the length of Shiro with her teeth. He pressed his feet into the bed, going tense beneath her. Maybe it had been a while.

Allura’s teeth pulled at the fabric of his boxers, setting a button loose so her tongue could slip beneath and get a taste of his cock. Shiro jolted, a low gasp strangled in the back of his throat.

Okay, so it had definitely been a while. But he’d been naked in front of people. Had sex with those people. What Allura was doing to him right now - driving him absolutely crazy - and what she was currently asking (off with the boxers, that was it)... It wasn’t new, it wasn’t anything experimental. It was just…

“So, for the meeting do I… w-wear anything? At all?” he ground out, prompting Allura to pull her mouth away from his now damp boxers to look at him. “Or am I expected to…” It was a legitimate question, one he let speak for itself rather than finish. He didn’t even want Allura seeing him shirtless with the lights on. What would he do in front of an entire council of Hoo’thue?

The snap of heat in his stomach at the very idea didn’t answer much of anything, only made him more confused.

“I can think of an outfit that you will hopefully be comfortable enough to wear. We can adjust it to cover anything you’re self-conscious about.”

“O-okay, because I was-“ Allura’s hand slid up, cupping his dick through the fabric. Shiro jerked with a soft, low groan. “I wasn’t sure if you were just planning to march me naked through the hall.”

That won a giggle from Allura. “Now  _ that _ would be a sight. Kethelin have done it before. There was one woman who only wore clothes when she wasn’t with her Kethal. Her idea, not the Kethal’s. I won’t ask that of you now.” Allura had said “now”, not “ever”, and Shiro couldn’t tell if it was that tiny detail or the fact that she was rubbing him through his underwear that sent a spark up the base of his spine. “But we already talked about looking through the different Kethelin uniforms yesterday. Are you distracting me because you’re nervous, Shiro?”

Shiro tipped his head back, rocking his hips to get more touch and pressure from her palm. “Honestly? I have no idea.” The heel of her hand dug down as he ground up. “I’ve, I’ve done this before, so I don’t really know why I’d be nervous. But it still feels like I am. I mean, you’re not human, so maybe… maybe I’m just uncertain on where I stand. Humans are attractive to humans, but I doubt I’m attractive to most of the aliens we’ve met.” He thought back to the Hoo’thue they had met earlier. He wasn’t attracted to them in the least, and he didn’t doubt the feeling had been mutual. “And it’s just… been a while, I guess. Things are different now.” He was scarred now.

Allura kept her hand against him, feeling the length of him through the fabric. Her face, however, drifted up. A flash of guilt went through him. It was supposed to be them having sex and getting used to each other. Their bodies were supposed to be learning how they worked together, but instead Shiro couldn’t even get out of his own head. Allura had to keep sidetracking to check on him, to come up for some deep discussion he didn’t even want to be having. No one needed more on their shoulders, especially if it was something Shiro needed to be handling better anyway. 

Allura pressed a human kiss to his lips. “I had Lance flirting with me, so I knew how your race could see me. But, despite your silly round ears and whatever you may have down  _ here _ ” her hand cupped Shiro to emphasize her point, drawing a muffled groan from him “you should know that you are definitely attractive. Many Alteans would be happy to bed you, me included.”

_ “Me included.” _

Shiro huffed, reaching out to let his fingertips hover over the swell of her cheekbone. “If you say so.”

She pressed her face to his human palm, meeting his gaze. “I do say so. If we’re going to do this, we should have fun. So if something is bothering you, you have every right to bring it up. I…” Allura paused, eyes slipping from his over to the mussed sheets by his head. “I don’t want to ruin it. I don’t want to be pushy, but I don’t always realize that’s what I’m being. You have every right to tell me so.” Shiro knew that. They’d talked it through yesterday, gone over using colors and being honest when they were uncomfortable. “But I should also be more aware of what I’m doing… Now, do you mind?”

“Do I mind?”

Allura’s fingers dipped below his waistband, plucking it from his skin and letting it snap back. “I was thinking it’s about time to remove this.”

Shiro hummed, slowly looking around the room as if in deep thought. “Hm… I dunno. I’ve already given a fair amount of ground. You, however, have a lot of clothes on.”

She gasped, hand flying to her chest and eyes widening comically. “Why my dear Paladin, are you suggesting I remove my shift?”

Shiro chuckled. “I’m proposing a fair trade considering this is my last bit of territory.” There was a tension that stubbornly bubbled up no matter how many times Allura tried to calm his fears. It was a bit hard to avoid considering what situation they were in. But as she joked with him, he felt that ease from earlier. The arm wrestling, the easy teasing; the feeling was back, new and exciting and warm in his chest. The tension melted away. They would talk things through. Even if there was scheduled sex practice to be had.

Scheduled sex practice with the woman from across the galaxy that Shiro had feelings for.

Nothing wrong with that set-up.

“Hm, be glad for your negotiation skills.” Allura grinned. “I will accept these new terms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The answer is nope, they don't bang yet, but I will just go ahead and guarantee it's happening next chapter. Sorry for the wait, lovelies. I just really wanted to make it clear what they're doing for communication and consent.
> 
> Hang out with me on [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/)! It's Voltron NSFW week! I was editing and posting this instead of finishing up today's prompt, but I'll be posting it tomorrow. I've already got each prompt planned out, so let's see if I can post the rest of the prompts on time this week. Warning, a lot of it will be Shaladin so if that's not your cup of tea, by all means don't read it, but there are at least two I'm planning to be Shallura.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Were you all looking for this chapter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! Please take this extra long chapter as my apology.
> 
> Also, I'm finally doing as my beta says, which is - and I quote: WE NEED TO GET STRAIGHT TO THE SMUT UNLIKE 7 CHAPTERS OF ONLY KINDA BLOW JOB BUT NOT REALLY.

“I will accept these new terms.”

She’d said that, but her nightdress was still on. At the moment Shiro was having flashbacks to about a dozen old sci-fi shows he’d watched with Keith. He was officially living the weird life of a low-budget sy-fy channel captain having “out-of-this world” experiences complete with horribly scripted sex scenes. So he could’ve been undressing her, but he’d ended up distracted.

Shiro snorted, playing with the shift’s hem. “I should’ve known the princess of Altea was dramatic, even in bed,” he teased.

Allura gaped. “ _Dramatic_? And I should’ve known the leader of Voltron would be an absolute dork. Who else refers to their underwear as territory?”

He scoffed. “Well you were-” Shiro was going to make a comeback – he was, honest – but then Allura snatched the edge of her shift from him and pulled it over her head. It caught in her hair, meaning she had to yank it off her head at the end. It wasn’t the most graceful thing, except Shiro’s brain couldn’t find time to care when it was still registering Allura without her shift. Even in the headboard’s dim glow he could make out the ridge of her clavicle, the swell of her breasts (no bra, which meant they really were on equal footing now), the hourglass curve of her waist that poured into full hips.

And her abs.

“Oh.”

Allura smirked. “Very intelligent observation, Shiro.”

Okay, so it wasn’t his finest remark, but Allura needed to cut him some slack - his  brain was overheating.

She had made it all too clear before that she was strong. He’d been lifted like a sack of flour and tossed into an escape pod with even less difficulty. Hell, Allura had bowled over a door and a guard all in one go and dug into two giant metal panels to force them shut. Her fingers had left _indents_ . In _metal_.

And now he could see all the muscle behind it.

“Can I touch you? Is that okay?”

Allura’s smile was fond as she watched his hands ghost over her stomach. “Of course. Take your time.”

Shiro surged upwards to kiss her as his hands explored, taking in the new expanse of skin. Beneath his fingertips he felt the thin spider webbing of scars she’d mentioned. Allura had meant it when she said she had scars too. She knew what battle could cost, on a small scale just as much as on the world stage.

But they nearly blended into her dark skin, clean and carefully healed by hand or by pod - he couldn’t say which. He just knew they were drastically different from the angry ridged and furrowed scars that ate away at his own body, even in the almost-dark of the room where she hopefully couldn’t see.

He pulled away to press kisses from the corner of her lips all the way down to her jaw and neck, his hands still roaming.

Allura let him do it, no comment on her lips as he took his time exploring her for himself. He had already told himself a million times, but he reminded himself once more that this week was it. This was all he’d get.

It wasn’t a very long time to be with her, but it was more than he ever thought he’d get.

Allura leaned against him, shifting their bodies so she was strewn out on the bed, giving him room to move above her. He followed after, making his way down her neck with the tantalizing scratch of her nails trailing through his hair and along his scalp. Shiro’s left hand cupped her breast and his tongue laved over the skin stretched thin over her collarbone, down a thin and almost artfully healed scar that ran from there to along the top of her left breast. He brought a nipple into his mouth, lavishing it with his tongue and watching for a reaction. Above him, Allura’s breathing was low and mostly even, gaze at half mast but no less focused, watching him through her eyelashes with a steady intensity.

She was smiling. Had been since she’d taken her shift off.

What he wouldn’t give to know what she was thinking.

But maybe it was better that he didn’t.

He sucked and nipped, eating up the way her breath hitched, her chest arched. He switched to draw the other nipple into his mouth and she gave her satisfaction with a low groan.

He went further still, to where hard-earned muscle was chiseled beneath skin. His breath was hot against her stomach, and he watched her flex in response, the definition of her strength all the more clear.

Shiro was tempted to press frantic, heated kisses to whatever inch of her built form he could, but he forced himself to go slow, dragging lips and heated exhales over her bare skin with care. When Allura had shown him the Altean kiss, she’d taken her time languidly marking up his form, sinking her teeth into him like she personally commanded the seconds and ticks.

Shiro had taken his time before when his other partners let him, but for whatever reason it was so much harder to keep a teasing pace with Allura.

“So I can’t help but notice you seem _a little_ interested in my muscles.”

But he had a pretty good guess as to why that was. And if Allura’s jovial tone of voice was anything to go by, she did too.

Heat crept up Shiro’s face from where he was in the middle of tracing her abs with his tongue, but he had come this far – they were very obviously doing this – and he trusted her. They both wanted this to be fun.

_“But first we can just try things out for us.”_

He drew away from his work, looking up at where she was lounging amongst her pillows. A princess by title, but a queen in her room. “I am _a little_ into people who are able to pin me,” Shiro confessed, mimicking her word choice. “Or lift me like I don’t weigh anything.”

Allura’s left eyebrow arched. “Were you ever with anyone who could do that?”

“Pin me, sure. But being picked up like I don’t weigh anything is definitely… well, the number of people who have done that to me is pretty short.” _You’re kind of the whole list._

“The whole list, huh?”

Apparently he’d said that out loud.

If the expression on Allura’s face wasn’t the definition of “smug”, Shiro didn’t know what was.

“Well sure,” Shiro started with a shrug, returning to kissing her abs. “But like I said,” a kiss along her right side “I’ve been with people who could pin me.” He nipped at her abdomen, winning a sharp inhale from her. “Lifting me is okay and everything,” another kiss that she lazily arched into as he worked his way back up “but I didn’t really need it.” A kiss higher than the last one. “I was with a woman in engineering who could pin me-“

Allura’s legs went tight around his middle, abruptly pressing him to her with unapologetic force. He may or may not have yelped.

“Like this?”

Shiro moved experimentally, silently reveling in how her calves and thighs kept his crotch firmly pressed to hers. “Not quite,” he admitted breathlessly.

Allura hummed, squeezing him with her thighs before pushing up onto her elbows. Her fingers threaded through the white of his hair, pushing it back against his scalp. “Trying to tease me?”

“You said we should have fun, right? And I don’t know if I’d call it trying.” Shiro wiggled what little amount that he could to illustrate just how tight her grip still was. “Seemed to work just fine.”

Allura laughed, rich and full. “Alright, you win that one. But, since we’re here…” Her hips thrusted upwards, grinding against his hardness. “How about one more trade? Fair, like last time.”

“Just one more?” Shiro breathed, a smile on his lips that Allura returned.

Something moved between their hips, at first a sliding motion, and then it wriggled against him where he could have sworn Allura had been flush against him.

“What-”

“But I should see what you have before I offer anything to trade,” Allura purred. Whatever was between them, it was rubbing against his cock, flexing and teasing at the flap in his boxers where Allura’s tongue had before.

Was that _her_?

That was when Shiro saw Allura’s underwear hanging from her hooked fingers, turquoise lace in the light, with shining golden hoops at either end.

“How did you-?” His eyes caught on the hoops, each with a section that slid open and closed as they dangled from her grip. That sliding he’d felt had been her slipping off her last stitch of clothing.

Whatever was tracing him through his boxers, it was warm, moving to toy with the elastic against his skin.

“Currently it’s the Altean version,” Allura admitted with a shrug, pulling her legs away so he could get a better look. It was long - maybe eight or nine inches, thick at the base and tapering all the way to the head, which was lighter in color. The head itself was wider and much like a human penis - with a more defined tip for the slit - except for the fact that it was textured, as if the surface was woven with thick strands of flesh.

Weird, but the longer Shiro stared the more he could imagine it pushing into him, gradually stretching him as she pressed in further. Plus from what he could tell she had control of it, unless the Altean reproductive organs just naturally tried to undress people, which Shiro seriously doubted. And if she could move it at will now, then she could move it any which way inside of him too. No trying to aim frantic thrusts to hit certain spots. Just complete control.

He was light-headed at the idea.

Allura kept going, as if unaware that she was on total display. Cultural differences at its finest, or at the very least differences in personality. “I know you mentioned you had a penetrative sex.” True. When she found out, he’d described a vagina at Allura’s request because she’d said:

_“The list of what I can do is a bit extensive, and since I’m unfamiliar with your anatomy, I really would hate for your.. what had you called it?”_

_“Penis?”_

_“Right, but you had a different word for it. What was it?”_

_“Cock?”_

_“Yes._ **_That’s_ ** _the one I like. I would really hate for your cock to suffer any damage because I used a receiving set that didn’t work correctly.”_

It had been sixth grade sex ed all over again, except he’d done it in the name of saving his dick from getting broken.

Allura continued on, lazily fanning her hair out around her as her Altean penis continued to pull at the band of his underwear, easing it down. “So I thought of a few options that could work while we were walking around today” _she’d been thinking about that in public and I hadn’t noticed?_ “but I was going to wait on my decision until I saw yours.”

“Right. Fair trade.” Allura’s penis retracted to give Shiro the honor of shimmying out of his boxers the rest of the way in what was probably the most unattractive way possible. Still, Allura licked her lips when the light of the headboard caught the outline of his dick free of his underwear, and that was enough to make Shiro feel slightly better.

Allura wrapped her hand around Shiro’s cock, not bothering to hide her pleased hum when he jolted against her. And yet she wasn’t quite focused on his pleasure, instead seeming to take in the feel and length of him, how much give there was, the texture, the heat.

Another small hum slipped through her smiling lips. “And now I can mimic your cock as well.”

Shiro balked. “R-really?”

“Really.” Shiro was on his back again, and he wasn’t sure if that said more about Allura’s apparent effect on his reflexes or how eager he was to have her on top of him. Allura’s mouth was near his cock, just like before, except this time there was nothing in between. “It looks like it’ll be a fun one to use, though I guess given your anatomy I can’t really use it with you.” She pouted for a moment, acquiescing even as she eyed the length of him. Then she popped her mouth open and slid out her tongue, only to freeze before it could touch him. “Can I put my mouth on your cock?”

“Yeah, green.” The added color made Allura’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “Though, listen, about my anatomy and everything…” Because this was about them having fun, and if Allura wanted to try out Shiro’s dick, then their wants were lining up more than she realized. “If you wanted to- _fuck_!”

Without preamble, Allura had slid the entire length of Shiro’s cock into her mouth, the tip brushing against the back of her throat, making him arch clean off the bed.

And then she held him there, cradling his shaft on her tongue. Shiro’s eyes were wide, jaw dropped, making small and mostly unsuccessful attempts to breathe, and he remained like that until she slid off of him again.

“I was just curious if I could really fit it all. A bit close, but not unmanageable,” Allura commented in a gravelly voice, almost as casually as noting they’d need to get more fuel at the next outpost, except with an edge of hunger that made Shiro shake. Maybe Shiro would be that nonchalant about it if he also _didn’t have a gag-reflex_. But then he heard Allura clear her throat, her fingers rubbing along the front of her neck. Uh huh. Shiro got the impression that Alteans might still have a gag reflex, but some other alien species clearly did not, and their voices were just as low and rough as hers just sounded.

And then her voice was right back to normal, complete with the British lilt that the Paladins had learned not to question. “Oh, but you were saying something, weren’t you? Something about wanting to fuck?”

“Uh, r-right.” Shiro’s voice was a tad higher, still catching up like the rest of his body.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat it?” Which sounded like she was going to give Shiro a break after deepthroating him, except what it really meant was “you repeat, and I’ll just put you back in my mouth... except slower”. Her tongue flicked out, guiding the weight of his cock head back between her lips.

“If you wanted to try out your new cock,” he wanted to grin at her then, but he ended up moaning instead as her free hand came up to palm his balls, “humans do actually h-have… have, _ah_.” Her other hand was gripping the base of him as she started to raise and lower her head around the upper half of his cock. “I-It’s not t-technically for sex but, hah, humans have another entrance.” That got Allura to pause. “It’ll take a lot of prep and lubricant, but if you want to test it out, I would definitely be okay with that. I’ve done it before, so it’ll be familiar to me.”

She pulled off of him with a swirl of her tongue that had him arching after her, looking for that touch again. “And it’ll feel good for you?” By the way her brow was furrowed as she made eye contact with him, bright eyes narrowed to find any sign that he was lying. She needn’t have bothered.

Shiro’s pupils were blown wide at the idea. “Yeah. _Really_ good.”

That was enough for Allura. “Alright. What do we need to do?”

Shiro sat up enough to grab a pillow from behind him to put beneath his hips. “If you have lube, I can work on stretching myself. Though, I haven’t done it in awhile. It’ll be uncomfortable in the beginning so, er…” Shiro’s face went hot. “If you could keep blowing me…”

“Blowing?”

“Your mouth,” Shiro hurriedly explained, knowing for certain that his face was turning bright red. “If you could just keep your mouth on my cock, that would help.”

“ _That_ , I can definitely do. I have a bottle of lubricant in the top drawer of the table.”

That was all the break Shiro got before she slipped his dick back into her mouth.

True to her word, Shiro found her small bottle of lube, and it only took him two tries to snatch it from the drawer despite his Galra hand’s shaking fingers.

He drizzled the clear liquid over his left hand’s fingers, feeling it quickly warm to his skin before reaching for his entrance.

At first Shiro massaged just around the tight ring of muscle, getting used to the feel of being touched there again before teasing more with just his middle finger. It was better with Allura swirling her tongue around the head of his cock as he slid in the first knuckle, but even then Shiro knew. He coaxed his finger up to the next knuckle with a soft groan.

It had been a while. That much he’d known from the beginning. But with a ragged exhale he got in as deep as his finger would go and pulled back again to get used to the stretch. That pretty much sealed the deal.

Fingering himself with his left hand was going to be awkward.

He continued the simple in-and-out for a while, waiting for his entrance to be used to it before he slid in the next one. It didn’t hurt. Just felt odd which, in its own way, was a relief considering the gaps in his memory.

Shiro planted his feet in the sheets and let his index finger join the first, sinking in slowly. Everything seemed so much louder now that he wasn’t filling the silence with questions or Allura with her coy little comments. Just the soft squelch of his fingers sliding in and out, Allura breathing through her nose, the whisper of the sheets, his disjointed breaths echoing through his ribcage as he slowly began to scissor his fingers. It was hard when he couldn’t quite keep the rhythm of his left hand.

He was just about to start hooking his fingers, searching for his prostate to make the whole thing a little easier, when Allura pulled back, letting the head of his cock lazily slide from her lips. Her hand kept moving, twisting on the upstroke and making Shiro’s legs tense with the pleasure, but her gaze followed Shiro’s fingers. She lingered there, watching his fingers vanish inside him, a third teasing at the tight ring of muscle. Beside him, his metal hand had abandoned the bottle of lube for clutching at the comforter beneath him.

“Shiro,” she murmured, lips brushing against his cock as she spoke, driving him _crazy_. “You’re not left-handed, are you?” It sounded more like a statement.

Shiro’s teeth dug into his lip as his third finger began to press in. “No,” he answered, seeing her thought process in the way her gaze slid from the awkward motions of his left hand to his perfectly capable right hand off to the side.

He was a moan away from telling her he wasn’t about to switch hands when she pressed her lips to where his hole stretched around his fingers. The strangled sound Shiro made was his words getting caught in his throat. He hadn’t been prepared for that.

“I think I get what you’re doing. I could help with that, too.”

When people mentioned “bedroom eyes”, Shiro was fairly certain they were referring to the way Allura peered up at him from between his spread thighs, white hair spilling over her shoulders, one hand halfway up his body like she planned to scale him at any second.

“I’m okay, really.” Shiro grunted as his fingers moved clumsily inside him. “You’re already helping when I should be capable of doing this by myself and...” He could see it in the way she arched her eyebrows and popped her lips open. He was thinking about this like an obligation, instead of the fun it was supposed to be. If he said no, she’d drop it. But if he said yes… “Only if you want. Focus on the stretching. I need to be able to fit you.”

As it turned out, Allura was a quick study, and watched him for only another minute before banishing his human hand elsewhere so that she could finger him instead. Useless now, Shiro’s flesh and blood hand instead wove through her hair, pulling and massaging at her scalp. The moan she made around his cock was answer enough on how she felt about that.

Her fingers were slender, so three of hers fit with no problem after the work Shiro had done, and they felt at his inner wall, massaging even as she stretched, searching for something.

He felt like his heart was trying to claw its way up his throat, the pleasure pooling in him hot and heavy.

Allura deep-throated him for a while, like before, but was easing back, licking up the shaft and letting her free hand explore the rest of him. His hips bucked and twisted as she trailed her fingertips over the skin of his inner thighs, cradled his sack, pressed her thumb to the skin just behind it - trying to take in more pleasure even as his legs tried to close, no longer used to being so exposed.

The fingers inside him, however, continued their searching.

Until she brushed his prostate.

Shiro gave a startled cry and a full-body jerk.

“There we are.”

Nerves. She must’ve guessed there was an extra sensitive spot. She could shapeshift into a whole plethora of sex organs, of course she would have.

“I-I-I think I’m going to rip your sheets,” he confessed between gasps, Galra hand clawing at the fabric beneath him, so tense it was shaking as the metal fingers jerked tighter and looser and back again.

Allura gave an amused huff, pressing a kiss to the underside of his cock. “I have more.” Her tongue circled the head and then rasped right over the slit of his cock, and Shiro cried out, trying and failing to keep his hips from stuttering. Had he always been this sensitive? He didn’t _think_ so but maybe…

Allura paused, processing the way his body twisted and seized at all her touches. He saw her teeth go sharp - a thing she apparently liked to do when she was feeling especially mischievous - and then she began lapping at the slit mercilessly, three of her fingers rubbing his inner walls, free hand raking nails up his chest, leaving Shiro’s whole body at a loss for how to move. It wanted to twist and buck and arch all at once. The pleasure hit him from so many different points his brain couldn’t compute it. It was so much.

And maybe this one lucky week with Allura was making him greedy, but god he wanted more.

“Allura, I-” What? Shiro didn’t even know what he wanted to say, but whatever came out of his mouth was incomprehensible the moment her fingers returned to his prostate. “O-oh, _please_ , need you to, _ah_ -!” Shiro couldn’t even register how his Galra hand had pulled free all the sheets, and his feet were shoving half of them to the end of the bed as they scrabbled for purchase. He was too busy wrenching this way and that, trying to understand the sensations. It was everywhere and it was a lot and it had been so _long_. Where were her hands? How were they so many places? His nipples were being pinched - one and then the other, his cock swallowed down, his prostate circled - not enough pressure but too much all the same. He knew what was coming, but she didn’t. “A-Allura, if you- I can’t- I’ll cum!”

Her mouth stretched wide around his cock like that was exactly what she wanted, and then she continued on, spreading her fingers inside him, letting the fingernails of her other hand rake over the sensitive bud of his nipples and down.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Shiro’s voice cracked. His whole body arched and his hands flew to the headboard, clutching at it, trying to find some way to ground himself.

Shiro came just like that, ropes of white covering his abdomen and half Allura’s face as she jerked back in surprise. A spurt streaked across her face, and Allura made a shocked noise, eyes wide as she stared at the man beneath her.

Shiro’s chest was flushed and heaving, shining with sweat.

It had been awhile since he’d come with the help of someone else, and given Voltron and the year he didn’t always remember, his masturbating had been rather minimal.

But fuck, he’d missed it.

Though it would be as he basked in the afterglow that he suddenly remembered something embarrassing.

Shiro had been told on more than one occasion he had a weird ‘o’ face.

Well, maybe Allura hadn’t been looking.

Except, when Shiro peeked down at her through his eyelashes, he saw that she _must’ve_ because, not only did she look stunned, her face was also dripping with his cum.

“Shit, Allura, I’m sorry.”

She blinked at him, quirking an eyebrow up. And that’s when he noticed her smile. “For what?” Her free hand went to her face, swiping the semen off her cheeks and bringing them to her tongue for an inquisitive lick. “Oh, a bit of a bitter taste. Mmm.” She proceeded to lick her fingers again. The swipe of her tongue wrapping around her knuckles sent a shudder through him, even if his cock was too spent to do much about it.

“Uh… for getting you with my semen?” It was a question because Allura seemed to be having a fun time wiping her face clean.

“Oh, this is your seed? It has a decent taste.” Just like that she was leaning forward, one hand still inside his ass, the other outstretched towards his mouth. “Want any?”

And Shiro, as flabbergasted as he was at the casualness with which she offered, took her fingers into his mouth.

As if his semen would actually taste any good.

But no, it was still salty and bitter, just like he remembered from taking a taste with a human partner. But the feel of Allura’s fingers pressing into his tongue more than made up for it.

“I was going to comment on your… interesting aim,” she started, daintily gathering the last of it off her eyebrow and slipping it into her mouth, “but I got distracted. What exactly was that, just now? You said you were cumming?”

“Right. An orgasm.”

“Orgasm?”

“A whole bunch of pleasure all at once. It also usually results in a lot of fluids. In my case, a lot of cum. Semen.” And it was all currently drying on his chest. Not exactly the sexiest look, but he wasn’t about to ruin her sheets to fix it.

Allura didn’t seem to care anyway. “We don’t have anything quite like it in Altean biology,” she remarked, her lower lip jutting out in a pout. Her disappointment didn’t last long. “Can you do it again?”

Shiro was really beginning to wonder about the development of Alteans, because all signs pointed to Allura being a lone predator, her possessive touches included. She traced the line from his bellybutton to his collar bone like she could still see the way his body curved when the pleasure took him. As if she’d memorized all his movements, so she could pin him again.

“Actually my uh-” Shiro’s voice got stuck in his throat as Allura’s fingers began to move in him again. He was oversensitive, each touch magnified and tingling, but unless she planned on touching his cock, it wasn’t painful. “I won’t be able to orgasm for probably another fifteen minutes. I don’t really know anymore. But I mean-” Her fingers brushed close to his prostate and his voice cracked. “S-So long as you don’t touch my dick, you can still-” they did it again, so close it was maddening. “ _God_ , I want you in me. _Now_.”

That was all he needed to say.

Watching Allura’s not-penis turn into, well, a real one was… odd. Shiro had no plans on lying at the front, and Allura pouted again as she eyed his own cock, allowing hers to mimic the proportions, the head, the subtle curve of his shaft. “It’s sexier when it goes from a receiving set to a penetrative one,” she insisted, pursing her lips and refusing to make eye contact.

Shiro laughed. “I’m sure it is, Princ-” The look she shot him could have cut through a Galra hull. “Allura,” he hurriedly amended, his smile broad and dorky.

“You were doing so well, too,” she sighed, hamming up her disappointment with a somber shake of her head.

“Your shapeshifting is still sexy. It’s just watching you… recreate my dick that’s a little weird to me. But it’s very impressive. Don’t stop.” It looked identical to his now, but from the way the girth and length fluctuated, he could see that she was still debating on the size. “ _Please_ don’t stop.”

Allura smirked, adding another half inch to the length before leaning over him, letting her hair fall in ringlets to tickle his chest. Her fully-formed cock was already hard, brushing his thigh teasingly. “Don’t think you can flatter me now. It’s too late. You insult my shapeshifting, you call me princess.”

Shiro groaned. “I forgot.”

“The Black Paladin? Leader of Voltron?” Allura was mocking him, her voice light and coy. She plucked the bottle of lube from where Shiro had abandoned it.

“Let me make it up to you?”

The bottle was poised between Allura’s fingertips, almost ready to pour. “Alright, I’m listening.”

Shiro snatched the bottle from her hands. “Allow me?”

Allura’s pupils turned to pinpricks. Her interest was piqued. “Go ahead, then.”

Shiro was a tad heavy handed with the lube, if only because it had been over a year and a half since he’d had something inside him that wasn’t a set of fingers. Once he had a good amount on, he wrapped his left hand around her new human cock. Allura’s entire body went taut, unused to the sensation. Her lips formed a small ‘o’ as Shiro began to slide his hand up and down, circling his thumb at the top, squeezing every once in awhile. It wasn’t as graceful as his handjobs used to be, but he was nervous about using his arm in that way. Still, Allura’s untested cock wasn’t picky, and her eyes fluttered closed. This pleasure was new for her. However her shapeshifting worked, the nerves and sensations were fresh.

It didn’t last long. As much as Allura groaned from the feeling of Shiro’s palm sliding up her thick shaft, she grew impatient with just his hand.

“I want to be inside you,” she gasped, stilling his hand with her own.

“Finally.”

Allura rolled her eyes at his exasperation, and before he could say anything snarky, her hands cupped the backs of his knees and pressed them towards his chest. Just as gentle as she was quick. His cheeks turned red at how exposed he was, but that only served to make her smile wider.

Allura went slow, her expression ranging from concentration to confusion to baffling pleasure as she pressed through his entrance, sinking into his heat.

“You’re so tight,” she whispered, breathless delight in her voice as she sank to the hilt.

Shiro’s muscles only tightened further at the comment, his teeth worrying at his lip.

He had missed being full. Allura had kept her dick a reasonable size, only a bit longer and girthier than his own, but it was just enough.

“You can, ah, you can move now.”

Shiro couldn’t be sure if her sluggish start had been for show, but the way her hips snapped back and then all the way in again was _unfair_. Shiro’s eyes rolled up into his head.

Allura’s pace slowed only slightly from there, still rigorous and nearly too much. Actually, that was a fairly solid description for most of Allura. She was almost too much for him.

But not quite, and Shiro thanked all the stars for that.

It was going to take another minute for his cock to react to what was happening, but the rest of Shiro’s body was ahead of the game. His feet dug into the mattress, trying to find leverage so he could move his hips with hers, meeting her thrust for thrust.  “Fuck, I- Allura, harder, _please_.” It was probably just his mouth getting away from him, but Allura met his request with a low laugh that sent shivers up his spine. Was the entire bed rocking?

As Allura pounded into him, she pressed human kisses to the corners of his lips and the line of his jaw, hot and insistent. Shiro kept trying to meet her halfway, but she was a tease, and for whatever reason kept her lips from his as much as she could.

The head of her cock slipped right past his prostate and Shiro keened. “There, please, I need- _mm!_ ” She kept getting so close and Shiro swore he was boiling from the inside. He didn’t remember getting hard again, but his cock was curled against his abdomen, flushed and leaking precum as she continued to slam into him.

“So close, so close to- ah!” Shiro’s hips bucked wildly as Allura finally found his prostate.

She nearly growled in victory. “It’s harder to aim with this one,” she snarled, but nevertheless proceeded to slide home into his prostate with every other thrust after.

Shiro wanted to say something, anything about how not all alien species could have prehensile penises. Instead all he could manage was small, breathless “ah”s as she continued to fuck him.

He was going to come again. How long had it been? It couldn’t have been fifteen minutes. Then again maybe it had. Shiro had lost all sense of time in the dark room. His head was spinning and he could barely hear his moans and gasps over the pounding over his heartbeat and Shiro was going to come again.

“A-Allura!” His voice was strained as his human hand fell to his cock again, recklessly thumbing at the slit so he could chase his orgasm.

Allura fell onto her hands and elbows, Shiro’s legs sliding from her grip so she could hover over him, her lips just above the shell of his ear. “Shiro,” she whispered. “Come for me again.”

She slammed into his prostate, and that was enough.

Shiro arched off the bed as he came.

Allura continued to pound into him as she watched his cum splatter across his chest this time, painting furrowed scars and old burns. Shiro might have thought she was racing towards her own climax, except she implied they didn’t have anything similar, and she immediately stopped the snap of her hips when his cock stopped twitching.

It was weird to have her keep him cocooned in her warmth, a contented sigh lazily falling from her lips, and _not_ have her own cock filling him with her seed. The surprises of having sex with an alien continued.

But it didn’t matter. Not when he felt so unbelievably light, his body thrumming with the aftershocks of his orgasm and Allura’s touch.

Allura’s lips found his.

“Remember where my lips are now?” Shiro teased.

Allura giggled. “Couldn’t silence all the pretty sounds you were making, could I?”

Something twisted in Shiro’s gut, hot and wild. He’d forgotten how vocal he could be and how it had been frustrating back in the Garrison when hook-ups were best kept quiet, but he couldn’t fight the pleasure that bloomed in his chest knowing Allura liked it.

Allura pressed another kiss to his lips. “Is it okay to pull out, Shiro?” In the back of his mind a greedy voice shouted that no, he wanted her to stay there a little longer so Shiro’s body could memorize the feel of her inside him.

But he couldn’t keep her in him forever. “Yeah, just go slow. Humans are a little sensitive after orgasming.”

Allura nodded, and Shiro forced that voice in the back of his head to quiet as he felt her cock slide out of him inch by inch. “I’ll get a towel from the bathroom. I imagine you don’t want to sleep in all of this,” she murmured, gesturing to the random drops of lube and his cum drying on his chest.

And that was another thing.

The details of their situation were coming back to him, and Shiro’s blissed out brain was just remembering what they had discussed the day before.

He was sleeping in her room.

Somehow that made Shiro more nervous than the sex.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literal sleeping occurs probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene was already planned from the beginning, but if you follow me on Tumblr you might have seen this before... except from Allura's perspective. I'll be posting Allura's perspective here too, now that this chapter is up, but it will be a separate one-shot added to the Watch Me, Lovely series instead of another chapter here. So, if you didn't see Allura's POV on this chapter on Tumblr and want to read it, it's here!
> 
> Also, my beta tells me there are typos. I'm gonna find them... later.

Shiro was left to his own devices while she slipped out of the headboard’s glow into the dark of the room she knew so well. Her bathroom was somewhere on the opposite end, by her closet where Shiro had moved his things the day before when they’d decided on the whole plan. At least the fact that he was sleeping in her room was one thing they didn’t have to hide.

Everyone just thought they’d be up all night going over Hoo’thuin mannerisms and holographic visuals of their alliances and Galra movements and two dozen other things.

Shiro wanted to laugh.

Allura vanished into the bathroom, the light clicking on and blinding Shiro for the half second he saw it. Then the door slipped shut, and Shiro was once again in the turquoise glow of the bed.

There was little more to do than quickly try to collect his thoughts. It felt like his mind was getting its first breath in ages, finally able to register what was going on now that Allura wasn’t there to leave him winded and scrambling and hot all over.

He’d just had sex with Allura. Allura who had a prehensile dick and had fucked him with a version of his own cock and had never heard of human kissing before. Something stirred in him just thinking about it, nevermind that he’d orgasmed twice in the past thirty minutes.

But Allura was fetching a towel. Shiro had guessed they’d be having sex for much longer. Allura getting a towel to clean up the cum drying on his chest seemed to translate to “we’re done for the night”.

Shiro had been clumsy and greedy and difficult. Maybe Allura just didn’t want to anymore. Maybe he was hard to put up with. Maybe-

Sometimes, the anxiety and the nightmares and his own inability to gauge what people thought of him anymore was exhausting.

Shiro just didn’t know how to be anything else.

Allura returned with a towel more than she’d promised, one damp and the second dry and soft.

“Day one of training complete, then?” he asked with a careful neutrality in his voice that belied the nervousness buzzing in his belly.

Allura said nothing at first, just stared. Then, reaching her own conclusion, she sat back on the bed. “We have a few more quintants,” she agreed, setting the dry towel to the side. “We have to rush, but not so much we can’t catch our breath along the way.”

“Of course.” Why would it be anything else? Allura had been nothing but patient and thoughtful from the moment he’d started the whole mess. Even in that moment she was going above and beyond for him. The wet towel now dangled between her fingers, poised above his chest. Shiro stiffened. “Allura, I can do that,” he rushed to assure he, reaching out to grab itr.

She snatched it away, the towel snapping with the rush of air. Their eyes met, glowing iridescence and gunmetal. Her gaze was searching. For what, he didn’t know.

“I don’t mind doing it Shiro,” she started, voice low, a muted murmur in the midnight room. Those didn’t seem like the words she wanted to say, but he knew better than to press. “So long as it’s okay?”

He wanted to tell her the same. She was so concerned about if he was okay with everything they were doing. Had it never occurred to her it could be the other way around? That maybe Shiro wanted it - whatever was going on - more than she did, wanted it to the point that he was scared of what they were doing and how permanent and undeniable some things would be when it was all over?

If he asked her the same questions, he wondered if she would be okay with it.

If she knew how he felt about this arrangement.

About her.

And if they were calling it such an early night - if midnight on the Castle clock was even early - then maybe he could take the towel and go. There was no need for her to clean up his own literal mess, and it was better for him to leave while she could still have a full night’s sleep. He was doomed to ruin it otherwise.

And yet Shiro nodded. All part of the role. “It’s fine. You shouldn’t have to, though.” He reached for her wrist, but the metal of his galra hand paused before it could wrap around her. “You don’t.”

She pressed the cloth to him anyway.

His body was listless and adrift even when it felt tethered and drawn to the swipes of the towel along his muscles and scars.

But it hurt to watch her, the very tangible queen he wanted to follow until his body broke beyond repair, the woman who was undeniably real and there and everything he wasn’t allowed to want, let alone have. All he would do was bring her more difficulty if they were that close.

His gaze fell to the door as he felt the towel trace the edges of a burn he didn’t remember getting.

Better to leave, before she committed to sleeping by his side. He knew what demons waited for him when he slept, and he had no intention of her knowing too.

But he couldn’t leave. They’d agreed. He’d trapped them both without realizing it.

The press of the towel was slow and methodic, a contradictory action that suggested Allura wanted to take her time with him. Shiro knew that couldn’t be true.

So instead he traced the peaks and valleys of the bed sheets with his flesh and bone hand, eying the shadowy dips in the folds and the swells of fabric highlighted by the dim light before ultimately smoothing them away. He’d been so afraid of tearing her sheets, and she’d merely pushed him further, gave him even more pleasure.

The moment was so effortlessly erased from the sheets, but it was still stuck stubborn in his head.

It was going to be all too easy to remember when she had pretended to care for him this way.

“Do you want your shirt back?” Shiro was jolted out of his reverie, and he looked up at Allura. There, hanging innocently from his finger, was his long-sleeved shirt. The smile playing on her face suggested it was a joke, effortless and believable - even to him, and he knew better. After all, he was her Kethelin for the week.

“And die of heat in the middle of the night?” He kept his voice deadpan, sending her a joke back just as quick. He didn’t want her to know what he’d been thinking.

She let it drop to the floor with a snort. She’d bought it, then. “Do you want to wear something else?”

“I bought something to change into but…” Shiro looked into the dark where he knew her closet was, his lips pressed thin. “I wasn’t sure if it was alright to wear it if I’m to be your Kethelin.”

“You can wear whatever you need to be comfortable.” Maybe. Or maybe Allura was making yet another exception for him.

Shiro glanced at the door again. Still an option. Still an escape. He didn’t have to ruin the fraud of a relationship they had going. But in the end Shiro was weak and Shiro was selfish. He thought about sleeping next to her, if only for an hour before the things that went bump in his head woke him, and knew he wanted it - that warmth, the slow and steady breathing of someone beside him even if they didn’t touch. He just had to make sure he didn’t actually fall asleep. Enjoy lying next to her in the bed until she drifted off, and then leave before he turned everything into a disaster. In the morning he could tell her he’d gone to the kitchen for water, couldn’t sleep, got distracted, went to his room to fetch something and fell asleep there by accident. Anything would do so long as he made it out before the nightmares.

Shiro changed into the v-neck sleep shirt and loose pants that he wore on the nights he managed to sleep, and padded back to the bed, unable to help how his eyes lingered on the door again. He could only stay an hour. Then he’d have to leave.

“Shiro, is it alright if I touch you while we sleep?” Allura asked. Shiro stiffened. She wanted to touch him, even after how greedy he’d been in bed? “I think it’d be another way for us to get used to touching each other if we want everything to be natural by the meeting.”

Oh. Of course. What had he been thinking? Shiro quickly tried to play off his surprise, forcing himself to look her way. She was already back in her shift, the sheets tucked around her lap where she sat awaiting his answer. “Of course, pri- Allura.”

There was a mechanical edge to how Shiro pulled away the covers, entered the bed, rested his head on the pillow - all just steps of a process, “how to sleep in a bed for two people”. _Don’t be selfish, Shiro. She’s already given you more than you ever would have gotten. Let her sleep. Leave._

He didn’t.

His whole body was tense, a loaded spring, a runner waiting for the gun to fire. There was still time to go.

The room was so quiet, everything muffled and soft, even the rasp of the sheets as Allura slid across them. She shifted further up the bed, wrapping him in warm arms and slow exhales. For a moment he hesitated. Then he pressed his nose into the dip of her neck and tried not to shake from how good it felt. It was so different from when she’d kissed him brainless, fucked him until he couldn’t thread words together, but it was just as good.

Better, maybe.

When his head was good to him - cruel to him, depending how one looked at it - he’d dreamt of something just like it. Her embrace all encompassing, cradling him against her, a hand between his shoulder blades to keep his heart in his chest when the monsters came to rip it out. Despite himself, he left his flesh hand trail down her side and dig into her hip. This time it wasn’t his head imagining it all. She was there, real, holding him even if it was all a means to an end. Something about the way she slipped him into her space like he was meant to be there - it ached in his bones with a heavy longing.

Shiro didn’t remember falling asleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_He was boiling from the inside out, suffocating as he thrashed and shouted._

_Had to get away. Had to claw until something gave. Everything was fragile somewhere. Everything could break and hurt._

_She reminded him of that every time._

_Some things had yellow blood, others clear and thick molasses,  some quicksilver and hot to the touch. A shriek. It might have been him, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was the thing, the creature, just another thing in chains - like him, whatever he was anymore, maybe they were the same._

_His fingers, curved and tight and shaking, came back orange, sticky, burning._

_But he could breathe again. And if he could breathe again, he could win._

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Shiro, it’s Allura.”

_He never knew what the announcer was growling. It was foreign, useless, no doubt full of jibes at the fragile human, soft in too many places, skin too thin, too easy to mar, mind so frayed his hair was turning white. There were so few words he knew._

_Death._

_Champion._

_Kill._

_Finished._

_Haggar._

_But the alien was back; tall and hissing, it lunged with everything it had, nosedived for him with rows of clicking claws and large fangs. It had a long throat. He’d hoped it was fragile, skinny enough to crush as it was with his foot._

_It was plated in steel scales. His sword had shattered._

_His arm dangled, useless. There was so little time, the ground jerking beneath him. Did the arena move now?_

_No, no, that was the blood. The blood dripping from his bicep, trailing down his calf, pooling. Thick, red, oozing blood._

_He had no weapon anymore._

_Nothing but a worthless arm, a mangled deadweight._

_The wide-mouthed thing had such a narrow throat, and it had nearly ripped his arm clean off._

_Well maybe it could choke on it._

_Had to hurry, though, before the arena lost power. It was so dark already._

_Had it always been that dark?_

“-you’re trying.”

_No. Shiro wouldn’t say he was. Not anymore. Even as he shoved his arm down the creature’s throat, he wondered if he could just bleed out. He didn’t really need to win, did he?_

_But he pressed against the throat anyway, felt its muscles flex around his arm, trying desperately to swallow, to breathe._

_Until it didn’t._

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Sometimes you don’t sleep at night.”

_Sleep? Sleep? No, no, he didn’t sleep, and if he did he couldn’t know if it was night. The cells were all dark, canned air, had to breathe in sick and corpses. Couldn’t just shoot those into space. No, they left them in their cells to rot until they got somewhere that would want them._

_His cellmate had been sleeping quite a while. Couple days._

_Maybe they weren’t sleeping._

_Might have been dead. Might have even been his fault. He couldn’t remember._

_But the metal of him curled around air like it remembered the alien’s fragile throat._

“Sometimes I don’t either.”

_But they should. Shiro wasn’t supposed to sleep. Bad things happened when he slept. But this voice… they should sleep._

_He didn’t remember the cell floor feeling so soft, warm, like silk against his skin._

“When that happens, you and I sit in the control room together.”

_Wait._

“I scroll through the universe. You tell me more about the other paladins. You tell me I should try bonding with them more. I tell you that you should, too. Less training. More fun…”

It wasn’t the cell.

It was a bed.

And there were two eyes, bright in the dark.

Yellow eyes maybe. Come to take him back. Couldn’t be gone forever. He’d have to go back, wouldn’t he? The arena was calling for him.

Except no.

The eyes were blue and pink and turquoise - a swirl of color impossible for humans and for Galra.

Allura’s.

Her fingers threaded through his hair and pulled him back against her. In his ears her voice was soft. “We train most of the time. We shouldn’t do that.”

She must have been talking him through the nightmare.

Shame welled up in his stomach, oily as it sloshed in him.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, tearing away from Allura’s eyes before anything else could mix with that feeling. There was a clock somewhere behind him, but he didn’t want to look and see what time it was. It would be a drop in the ocean of details to agonize over when he thought back to that moment and how it had been just another thing for him to ruin. “I should have just left when we finished,” Shiro confessed. “I haven’t slept in the same room as someone since before the Galra…” Her body was still warm against his, pressed gently together. Shiro knew he thrashed through his nightmares. Absently he wondered why Allura hadn’t let go. “I thought something like this would happen.”

Knew, in fact. But Shiro was selfish.

One of Allura’s hands pressed against the back of his head, tucking him against her throat. She hummed, low and deep and smooth, melodic as it washed over him.. “No matter what I may suggest, Shiro, you always have the right to say no. You know that right? We talked about it yesterday-”

“I know.” Allura had made it so clear, and Shiro would always be thankful for that. “I just haven’t… cuddled” - the word was awkward on his tongue, nearly foreign compared to the everyday vernacular of the Black Paladin - “someone in a long time. I-” His metal and flesh fingers tightened and loosened around her shift, folding and pulling, his anxiety manifesting as he realized he was being far too honest. “I missed it.” Her skin beneath the brush of his lips as he spoke kept the words close, loud in his ears. The admission left his chest lacking, like he’d given too much of himself to the quiet of her bedroom. He wanted to pull away and pretend it hadn’t happened. Maybe it was just a matter of skating past the subject and making his exit like he was so used to doing.

But Allura’s body tightened around his own. It wasn’t suffocating, but it was a request.

Unlike all those other times with Lance and Hunk and Keith and Pidge, he would have to hear what she had to say.

“Shiro, I’m not sorry you’re here, and I’m not sorry you stayed. I just want you to know that if we keep going is up to you, and if you’d feel better in your own room by yourself, that’s fine with me.” It wasn’t as if Shiro had been trying to be subtle, but his heart still clenched when she said the words. It validated his fear that everyone on the Castle noticed the distance he kept. “But if you’re going to head back to your room because you think you’re going to bother me…” Wouldn’t he? Even if he didn’t mean to? “You don’t. None of this bothers me. If you’re okay sleeping here, I want you sleeping here.” Her lips were somehow even less than a brush against his hair, a gentle memory he almost second-guessed because she did it so lightly. His heart catapulted into his ears, pounding. “So what do you want?”

Not to be broken. Not to be an inconvenience. Not to hold back the team.

He wanted to breathe, live his life, have more good days than bad, make the anxiety and the flashbacks and the fear vanish. The war was already complicated. He didn’t want to be yet another thing on top of that. Why couldn’t he just be better? Why couldn’t he just do easy things, when he had to already do so many hard things out in the vacuum of space.

Shiro wanted Allura, to give back for all she was doing, to kiss her endlessly. Shiro wanted this sex to mean something for both of them, mean _one thing in particular_ for both of them, and he didn’t want his brain to have to race and panic and run rampant just so he could accomplish something simple and enjoy running his hands through her hair and the foreign but enticing way she kissed him her way.

But he couldn’t have any of those things.“I… I want…” Shiro pushed his head into her neck to hide the way he swallowed down all of it. But something else rose up despite it.“I want to be small.”

He felt her head cock to one side above him, maybe confused at the translation and all that one word could mean. “Small?”

Tucked beneath her jaw, Shiro could openly stare at the swell of her bicep as she wrapped around him, trace it up to her shoulder and down to where it vanished behind him. “I guess that sounds weird, huh? I just-” _Don’t say it_.

But the room was quiet and the terror was still violent on the backs of his eyelids and Allura had barely squeezed but something inside him gave. “I always have to be the bigger person. I have to look out for everyone; I have to make sure everyone’s okay. And I _want_ to do all those things. I would protect all of you even if it killed me.” She didn’t need to know how often he thought about the day that inevitably would happen. “But sometimes… sometimes I wish I could be small and let someone else be the bigger person. I want to be small… but still safe.”

He’d never put it into words before, or thought about it at all. It was just another thing to try to shove away for later. His feelings - up until this crazy Kethelin situation - had never played across his face so openly as Hunk’s, nor did they bubble up and over often like Keith’s. So to have it slip past his lips was… interesting.

Allura didn’t say anything. Just held him, the spitting image of the caring Kethal she was meant to play. Allura hadn’t forgotten what this was all for, but Shiro had. The sex had been practice - even if his heart ached - but her soft words and the warmth between them had been something else to him.

That could not stand.

Wasn’t he the calm, collected leader of Voltron? Sure, Shiro was a pilot from a backwater planet with nothing but a tacky souvenir store in a space small to it’s intergalactic name, and Allura was a princess to an entire planet of famously successful universe-wide diplomats. But wasn’t he also top of his class, ace pilot, Garrison golden boy, head of the most powerful weapon in the entire galaxy?

Shiro could do this, too.

He laughed, little more than a small chuckle but it was a start, and ghosted his fingers over her skin. “Is this more Kethelin practice?”

Her entire body went rigid around him.

“I think we’ve had enough practice for today,”

Oh.

Just like that the moment was over. No more. She hadn’t skated around the decision, and if nothing else he appreciated that.

It took him several painful moments to realize he’d stop breathing, fingers curled into her skin.

Pulling away felt like dragging his body through water. Hadn’t he been the one who wanted to leave? It was hard to tell as he untangled their legs, his parts forgetting how they worked together as the words echoed in his head.

Enough practice.

But Shiro had told himself he could do this. If she could play the part, so could he. His body remembered how to move again, and the cool air of her room sent a chill through him as he sat up and let the blankets fall away. “Of course,” he murmured, willing away visions of Allura pouting over her unsexy dick-transformation, of their dorky exchanges about territory and trade proposals.

Except Allura was suddenly sitting up too, reaching for him. Shiro’s gaze widened at her fingers suddenly so close to his jaw, and he looked up her, trying to understand what she was doing. Another Kethal practice?

Allura chewed on her lip, like she was nervous. What could she possibly have to be nervous about? “We’ve been through a lot,” she started. “I don’t want this for the council. I’d rather this be for us.” Allura needed it too? Their moment in the dark had meant something to her - not romantically, but Shiro would remember it anyway - and she needed it. It was important to her.

Not just him.

She whispered something else, but Shiro didn’t catch it, couldn’t catch it between his racing thoughts.

Allura licked her lips. “I want to be the bigger person for you. If that’s what you want too.”

Her expression was delicate, unsure, but the hand a thought away from his face was still there. _Yes_.

Shiro turned into her hand, heart pounding at the warmth that cradled him. “Yeah.”

She smiled. “Okay. Come here, Shiro.” She had pulled away, arms spread wide for him, and suddenly Shiro was faced with the fact that he might not leave.

He _wasn’t_ leaving.

She’d been there when his mind hadn’t been, and she was asking him to stay.

“Please?”

Shiro curled against her immediately, before his brain could convince him to do otherwise.

They had to adjust and figure out how to slot together again, but after a fair amount of twisting and adjusting - “What was our position the first time? Where did I put my second leg? You don’t suppose I could just shapeshift it away, do you?” “Allura, even if you could, please don’t.” “Oh fine. I just- _how did we do this?_ ” - they managed to decently click into place. Then, almost like a house settling, Shiro swore he suddenly shifted just so and everything felt right, Allura wrapped around him, his Galra arm lazily hooked around her ribs, his entire body nestled against her chest and fit between her legs without it feeling like he was about to suffocate.

Small. Safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut is on break, so angst and bonding are at the helm for a bit.
> 
> Come see me on [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/)! Send me silly asks and things if you want. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, well, there it is.
> 
> No worries. I've already got the next 15,000 words written (it's all exposition at this point... but the smut will come, I swear).
> 
> If you are enjoying where this is going and wanna come hang out with me, read my random posts about the Voltron fanart and fanfic I'm making, or just enjoy good Voltron content with me, I've got a [tumblr](https://realityisiron.tumblr.com/).


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